Lunar New Year

My blog posts are so out of sync with the the dates on the calender. Ha... that is one busy mum (that's why).

This is the first Lunar New Year in the new nest. It was easier as I have yet to collect too much dust and clutter, so spring cleaning was done in one day (not counting the bathrooms... which was left to the last minute).

As usual, both Superpig and I are the youngest in our families so no one will come to our place for visiting. So it was quite a quiet Lunar New Year which after the first hectic day, we were practically left on our own to enjoy the long weekend.

However, our good old friends did drop by and it was good. That is what this house is for... for friends to come and play catch up. Yet, there are a few who did not join us and they are missed. I hope to see them soon.

On the First Day, the two Princesses in their pretty dresses sponsored by their paternal Grandmother. When the two are in amicable moods, they love each other to bits. I wish for more of such days.

This little one is a very good poser. When she sees the camera, she will flash you her best toothy smile and then she gives you her two fingers pose. She is a charmer.

This other princess, on the other hand, is more self-conscious. She is very careful when she smiles as she worries about how her teeth will look. So it is more challenging to get a good photo of her. Yet, when you do, you will be rewarded with her demure charm (which she does not portray on her day to day life... she is a tomboy!)


And here we are... the four of us.
Lastly, enough of the princesses, enough of having four in a picture.
It's only us!

Have you read

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother?

I have not but it seemed to have caused a great uproar out there. Have caught a glimpse of the excerpt and had read a few of the comments about Amy Chua's parenting style.

From what I gathered, I may be very much like her. Unfortunately, my way of parenting is like this because I am not allowed to fail (up to this date and this age). If you had read my previous posts about my struggles, you will know that I have a very difficult mother to please. Plus, she imposes such stuffs on my children while praising her other grandchildren. People in our household are put down by her and compared to others. It is sad.

I am trying to strike a balance in my parenting style. My children needs to be pushed to their potential because like their father, they are very laid back.

I must get the book and read it to find out more about this tiger mother.

Edited to add: I have made a reservation with our community library for the book. It is really an hot item. All books are out on loan or reserved. It will take about 3 weeks before I get my chance. Well, spending $1.55 for reservation fee is better than spending much more to buy the book and then to leave on the shelf.

Happy New Year

I must be crazy... it has been four weeks into 2011 and here I am saying 'Happy New Year' to you. Well, the year started busy and busy and busy... there is no other words I can use to describe how the four weeks were.

I was hoping that this year will be less hectic and that I will be able to start on my tuition project but apparently my plan did not work out. After work, I rushed home to my two princesses and they drove me up the wall with quite a bit of their nonsense. I screamed at them (a lot)... which was not nice at all. I had pent up frustrations and stress from work, I was being patient with non-achieving pupils but lost all patience with my own princesses over something real small. I really hated myself for these four weeks.

With a tired body and mind, I set out to introduce myself to my pupils' parents via an email. It was a wrong choice... I had always had a good relationship with parents but not this time. That email I wrote was used to slap me in the face and it was 'corrected' in red, forwarded to the principal and was told that since I do not have a good command of English, I should not be teaching. The lesson I had learnt... no point being friendly to parents (they find opportunities to slap back at you), no point putting all my efforts to help the children (I ended up killing my own)... I am badly bruised from this particular incident. After so many years of teaching, this parent gave me a rude shock.

How bad can my 'new year' be? It sure was a 'happy' one.

Now... after all that, I really wish to get back on my crafting mood and get rid of all these bad vibes.

I am embarking on a crochet rabbit...

and... this year, my children are wearing store bought clothes for the Lunar New Year. I did not have time to sew for them. Upset.

But I read this on a notice board in another class...

I say ... 'I am lost'
God says..."I will guide you" (somewhere on that line... I forgot)

This year will really be a test on my faith. Getting out my Bible to help me stay on the right track. Pray for me... if you are reading.

Birthdays, Housewarming, Crafting, Relaxing...

The past few weeks were crazy around this house. There was massive unpacking and packing, sorting and throwing, drilling and cleaning... all for the sake of having a housewarming and birthday celebrations all in one.

First Fondant Cake (for the guests in the afternoon)

Second Fondant Cake (for the guests in the evening)

The two recipents of the cakes

Finally, a picture of the four of us.

I had always envied those people who could beautiful fondant cakes. I envied, I dreamt about it, I googled it, I youtubed it, I bought the ingredients, I tried it and it worked! I am proud of myself for the courage to try it. I am grateful for the many encouragement by Superpig and his usual,"You don't try, you will not know." attitude. I must also thank Aver for her mutliple food allergies that forced me to learn new ways of cooking and baking around those food items that she cannot eat.



Challenges push one to do things that he/she will not even think of doing. I have been put in many situations that are challenging and I must say that I walked out of these situations stronger but not without wounds. However, rather than crying over these wounds, I have learnt to soothe them and tell myself that I will not make the same mistakes hence suffer from the same wounds again.



Life is about facing our challenges, learning to overcome them and then looking forward to what lies ahead.




As for crafting... well, not much but I managed to squeeze in one yesterday as my children were taken off my hands.

I made three Kennys from South Park for my Superpig.

It is getting a tiny bit lonely here. It has just been my voice and only mine to be heard. My friends have seemed to have left this space...

I may even consider stopping ... it seems that I have lost a few good blogging friends too.

Alas...

A day out into the gardens ...

on our 11th wedding anniversary.

After of 11 years of each other's nonsense, we have two princesses added into our lives to add in more nonsense. These 11 years have been filled with lots of laughter, tears, shouting, screaming, hugging, presents, love, insecurity and much more but I want to only remember the good and goofy things.

I remember his love for me, his tolerance towards me, his patience, his understanding, his never-ending 'cold' jokes... I hope he will remember the good and goofy things about me too.

The two princesses and their added nonsense to brighten up our lives.

After all the packing of the cameras, we set off to the Botanical Gardens. I had the intention of having an informal family portrait surrounded by nature but the plan was not carried out as Superpig was enticed by the BEAUTIFUL orchids in the National Orchid Gardens. Oh well, I guess the family portrait can wait because my memory card (s) were also exhausted by the hundreds of clicking to capture the beauty of the orchids.

The princesses each were armed with digital cameras and my intention was for them to take photos of their loving parents but alas, the orchids caught their attention.

Seeing how bright he looks frolicking with the orchids, I cannot help it but to capture his gleeful look amongst the orchids that shared his colour on his shirt. He was so compatible with those little yellow ones.

This little princess with her cheeky smile and her digital camera caught the eyes of a group of Indian tourists who insisted on having her on their video. They sort of scared her ... she did not cooperate with them, gave them a blank stare and ran to hide behind her daddy's backside.

This big princess, on the other hand, had difficulty trying to smile. She doesn't really like to smile for the camera so it was a difficult task for me to take a pretty photo of her.

And that was how we spent the earlier part of the day, all wet with perspiration, out frolicking with the orchids. For the later part of the day, we soaked in air-conditioned mall, indulged in
tubs of pop-corn, watching a kid friendly movie "Mega Mind". To top it all off, we had a nice, cheap dinner at the basement of PS and three packs of chocolates as anniversary gifts to each other.

This year, there was no mega celebration in fancy restaurant nor big presents that burn our pockets. We simply enjoyed ourselves with our children with the simplest pleasures.

I will be back to show you the photos of the lovely orchids that sucked up all the memory in my memory cards of three cameras.

We are quite comfortably settled

Renovation for the new nest was held up and we had no where to go but to cramp in my mum's flat for about a week. Then, we moved ourselves into a 40% completed nest and we lived around all the inconveniences but we survived.

Now, we are almost done with the renovation. There is only the grilles left for the balcony to be up and about another twenty-five boxes to up pack... then we are done.

Today and tomorrow, I am taking these days off from the unpacking and am going to enjoy the time with my husband and my girls.

Today, 23 November, is the day that we have been married for 11 years! These 11 years were incredible... really love him and my girls. Really love my family.

11 years of togetherness...

...

More on the moving...

And so I have been busy packing. I have been packing for the last few weekends and I am surprised by the enormous amount of stuff I have at home. Eventhough, I tried to eliminate stuffs that I do not need, I realised that I had recently packed up the house once and had back then threw away quite a bit of excess items.

Week 2 of packing

Week 3 of packing

And then, I lost track of the days and time as the discussion for the renovation kicks in. All that I remembered is that all the weekends, I was under house arrest, packing away. I get an occasional call from Superpig to get out of the house to go looking for bathroom accessories, beds and so on. When I got these calls, I would be extremely upset because my progress for packing comes to a standstill.

Here is the most recent outlook of the boxes... my windows are 80% covered up with the boxes. I am at Box 54 as of this posting.

If you are wondering why is the picture so dark... that is because I have practically covered the windows. We have no more space around the house to place the boxes.

Later at noon, we will unofficially get the keys to our new home. I am so excited about it that I cannot continue with my packing. I just hope that the previous owner will keep his words ... He had removed some items that are considered as fictures in the house. But, because the stuffs that he had removed were not significant so I will let it pass. I am afriad that he will do something drastic.

Our Journey to A New Home

It has been roughly a week after we had signed on the dotted line at HDB office to sell our current place and to buy the other one.



After that day, everything seems to be going on fast forward. The time we have on hand to get the renovation details finalised is in less than a week. The time we have on hand to get our stuffs packed up is five weeks. Although it five weeks seems a long time, it is actually not as I still have to work daily and there is the need to prepare Ash for her upcoming exams. I only have the weekends to work on the packing or late at night...



First up... I started packing my Precious Thots Figurines and that took me a total of 3 days (over 2 weeks). Yesterday, all but three figurines went into their respective boxes.

These are 2/3 of the figurines left over from last week's packing.

A whole day of being confined at home to do the packing. (Due to lack of time on my hand, I have to be under house arrest!)


The figurines in their respective boxes ... almost done.

DONE!!! The cabinets sit lonely and empty now.

Today's job is to put all these into the mover's boxes.

What is depression?
It is a feeling of lost, self-worthlessness, despair, anxiety .. all negative feelings of oneself put into a pot and brewed over time.

How does it come about?
Believe me, it comes from how one was treated before. When you are constantly compared to another, and no matter how much you have done, it is always falling short.

Never a praise but always a sacarsm.
Never a pat at the back for a good effort also a kick in the butt for wasting time...

Till now, I have accomplished so much but seemed to have gain little.
Till now, I still question myself, "What is my worth?"

I had asked myself why am I always so down in the mood, I finally understood.
I can never measure up to what my mother wants.
No matter how I tried to please her, it is always falling short.
What is she measuring against?
I have no idea...
It could be my brothers, her daughter-in-law, herself, my cousin...
It pains me to hear her praise others but never never never me.

I grew up not know what is my worth and till now, I still do not know.

I used to seek love and self-worth from friends but it is short lived because I return home and the comparison continues.

I seek to be the nicest person on earth, always willing to help my so-called friends and ended up tired and sad because I realised that I am nothing but a stinky old doormat.

I try to do my best in everything but end up being hyper stressed out.

I try to give all my time to everyone who wants it but end up leaving no time for myself.

I try and I try and I try... but I yeild nothing but all these negativity in me.

Through my mother's words, I learnt that I am stupid, I am useless, I am a spendthrift, I am a lousy mother, I am a lousy wife, I am useless daughter, I am a stupid teacher... and there are more....


If anyone is reading this and is a mother, please be watchful of what you say to your children... the impact is a lifetime... and it hurts.

If only my mother knows ... but even if she does... she will just say ,"Then, you think you are a better mother?"

Singapore's 45th Birthday

Yesterday, we celebrated the nation's independence of 45 years.
For 45 years, we have came a long way and with all the hardship of our ancestors, we the descendents get to enjoy the luxurious economy growth. So, for the sake of our children, we should also strive for stable economic growth and peaceful harmony between all races.

We were actually out and about looking at furniture for some ideas for our new place and when we drove home, we realised that at our town centre, it was set up for a fireworks. So we went home, took a rest while watching the NDP live on TV. When it was almost time, we walked to the town centre and experienced the fireworks up close!


When the firework started, everyone was excited and you will hear a long continuous scream and that would be Aver. She claimed that she wanted to be louder than the fireworks!


The second burst of fireworks came as a surprise!


And as we were about to leave to head home, the thrid burst started!


We enjoyed ourselves. Hope you had enjoyed your National Day too.

Heartached

Was out real late the night before with Superpig running an errand, we ate at a coffeeshop that is surrounded by pubs and nightclubs. Sitting at a table, was a little girl, most probably 5 or 6 years old. She was having her dinner too. She looked bored. She is the daughter of the Thai food stallholders.


Looking at her brought back memories of myself sitting at a school canteen trying to entertain myself when my mother was tending to her drinks stall. At the early years, she works from 6 in the morning till 9 into the night. I spent most of my childhood in schools... my own school during school hours and then the school where my mother worked after my school hours.

I saw that little girl and my heart ached. Her childhood is spent in the coffeeshop looking at her parents sweat to earn the dough. She spent her childhood looking at the 'ladies' working at the pubs. She spent her childhood trying to survive in a very adult world, trying to make sense of what is happening around her.

At least for myself, my childhood surrounding was still rather innocent. Hers is more complicated.

My heart ached for her... and her parents for their needs to work hard for the dough.

Saturday Shot

This is what happened when we were waiting at home...

They decided to be acrobats.

Cupcake Day

It is coming to the end of the June holiday and I finally decided to get the kids involved in cupcake making. It is a non-dairy. eggless cupcake which Aver can enjoy along with her sister.

The cupcakes came out flat. Should be due to the 'no egg' issue. However, it is still nice to eat.

These are Mango Cuppies.

These are Raisin and Choco Chips Cuppies.

Enjoy along with us, please.

Science Centre, we went

Just Monday, we went to Science Centre for the Pixar Exhibition and also caught Toy Story 2 in 3D. We could not take pictures in the exhibition but sure enjoyed seeing the sketches they did while working on each film.

After the exhibition, we went around Science Centre and it sure was interesting for the princesses. Maybe, I will bring them back again... provided I know how to drive there... it is a good 45 mintues drive (provided I don't get lost.)

Aver with her favourite Tigger... she needs his ears to sleep.



And I found out that I am not that unique afterall... I am a COMMONER!

Aver said...

Aver said the darnest thing...

One morning, when she was done with clearing her bowel, she said,"Mummy, there is only one en en."
"One only?" I asked to confirm before cleaning her.
"Yes, one only. My backside says one is enough. Don't need to have so many."

Aver likes to skip and run along the corridor when we go out. She will happily skipp and sing but when she comes to Aunty Jenny's unit, she will stop.
The last two days, Aunty Jenny was home and Aver stopped in her tracks and said,"I am a good girl... I am a good girl..." She showed Aunty Jenny a thumbs up and then skipped away quietly.

My craft projects so far...

I thought I just list the stuffs that I had made for the last month and what I will be doing for the up coming months.

Finished...
1. Crochet coin purses
2. Buckwheat pillows for friends' coming-soon babies
3. Zippered pouches for Aver's childcare teachers as farewell gifts

Going to ...
1. More crochet coin purses for upcoming Teachers' Days
2. Polymer Clay food magnets for upcoming Teachers' Days
3. A few blouses for myself
4. A few dresses for the princesses
5. Tag blankies for friends' coming-soon babies

Last day

Today marks the last day of childcare for Aver. We sent her to school for the last time but joined in their little outing for the first time.
The little ones took a walk down from their little hill and up another hill. They went about picking up leaves, twigs, seed pods and others. They really seemed to enjoy the trip to the park.
We left her at school for a few more hours before bidding goodbye to everyone. When we returned in the afternoon, it was a bittersweet farewell to her teachers. There were hugs and kisses. And her first teacher, Ms Akimi, started to cry. Because she teared, I did so too. She was her first teacher and the few that had been there watching her grow from a young toddler to now a three year old. I know I will miss her too because her love and her attention to the children is the best.
Before we go, Aver had to bid goodbye to the auntie there. The nice auntie who cooks and cleans, she also help with the children. When Aver whines and cries in the morning and no one can handle her, auntie is always there to hug her tears away. Of course, before Aver left, she asked auntie for biscuits... This is something she will do eveyday when we go home.
This change is for her health but I know I will miss a few of the staff there and hope Aver will have some good memories of the place.

Changes

Life is about dealing with changes.
Life is about facing the challenges.
Life is about making decisions.
Life is about believing your abilities.

We are now at the stage of our life that there are changes occuring to our normal life. We are on our way to a new home. That is blessed by the Lord.

Aver will be attending childcare for the last time on 31 May 2010. She will be attending nursery at a nearby church in end of June.

These changes are the two major ones on top of the rest.

Putting on the armour of Christ and with the constant prayers, we will face the challenges with courage and strengths.

Snap Purses

Thanks to Serene, who had ordered the crochet rose hair ties, I started planning for the up coming Teachers' Day gifts.
I had always wanted to do the little snap purses but because I do not have a wide variety of fabric, so it will not turn out as cute as those that I had seen online. So I decided to make one out of yarn. Searched the net for a pattern but yielded nothing but nice pictures of other crochet snap purses.
Since this weekend is the examination prep week, I am home bound with two princesses, one is still nursing her asthma (although not whizzing but has to be under close obersavtion) and the other is having a battle with her revision. So I started to try out in my own and I made one!
It is really simple looking... will improve on the pattern and then add on the designs, such as buttons, lace flowers, crochet flowers...

Here is the one I tried this afternoon.