Monday, March 31, 2008
He has plans for me but I just do not know what. He had made me attend the recent Miracle Service and He spoke to me there. I know that healing of the wounded heart will come and forgiveness will eventually set in.
Now, I just need to pray that He will make every other things easier so that I do not end up being so burdened.
I realised that I am being blamed for quite a lot of things eventhough I am not the one at fault. I realised that when things go wrong, I also am the one to stand up and try and make it right again. Now, I am tired.
I am weary and my mind is empty. I tried as I may to not think about what happened and everytime those thoughts come back, I will push it all away and pray that God will help me look forward.
Today, I failed. I blew up and I cried and I screamed and I shouted and I threw a terrible tantrum. Why is it always me to pick up the pieces for everyone when the one hurting most is myself? Why do I have to keep smiling eventhough my life has been turned upside down? Why do I have to be strong when I really need to cry and to scream? Why do I have to be the mother of everyone and pick up after each and everyone when I need to really rest and heal?
Sorry.... I just made this a lousy post with a lousy mood. I just needed to get it out of the system and if you are reading this, I do really need a little cheering up.
Friday, March 28, 2008
I will not go into details of the unpleasant as I want to keep things cheery and since no matter how much is to be said the unhappiness had been caused, the hurt has been done so now I want to pick up the pieces and move on with my family.
To heal a wounded crafter, the best is to start on another project.
So I did...
There was also Aver starting to draw. I finally made the attempt to cut out the butcher paper and to bring out the crayons for her. She had been attacking my pen and pencil that were lying around, so I guess its time for some pencil time.
As she sat and "drew" away, I drew too.
A potrait of her ... okay, my drawing sucks but I still like it. (Sorry, ego problem...)
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Looking at Aver, I realised that Ash has grown from cute to pretty.
Looking at Aver, I realised that I miss Ash at that age.
Looking at Aver, I realised that I cannot turn back the clock.
Looking at both girls, I realised that I can hold on to the memories of them growing.
So I decided on having a photo wall which shows them growing.
I started with Ash and after every layout, I cannot help but want to hug Ash and tell her how much I love her.
If you noticed, first and second months are missing as we did not have our digital camera then and now that our scanner is throwing a tantrum, I cannot get the hardcopies scanned.
What do you think? Isn't Ash a chubby cutie pie?
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Went for another follow-up and how timely for her rashes to start to get infected again and turned all weepy and pus-producing.
Even the dermatologist was going,"hmmm, huuuummmm, errrrr...hmmmm...."
There, she has no idea what to do as she is not reluctant to prescribe any other creams as the ones that Aver is using is already quite laden with steriods.
Then, she sent us off to a senior consultant and she went,"hmmmmm.....huuuummmmm...errrrmmmm...hmmmm..."
No... I don't mean to say that they are not good enough but really how much steriod creams can a little 15 month baby take?
They have to find alternative medicine that may not harm the baby but yet do the job.
At the end, its another round of antibiotics (a different one from the previos) and a change in the cream.
Also there is a scheduled blood test just so that we know what she is allergic to.
The Senior said that it will be an uncomfortable 10 minutes and we agreed to that comment but well what is 10 minutes compared to a whole childhood plagued by this weepy pus-producing eczema?
And so if you are reading this post, please utter a prayer for the little one that the eczema will be gone and she will be released from this horror.
To prevent her from scratching it at night, I sewed two pieces of shrugs..."Straitjacket" shrug.
u can read more about that in Wen Crafting but here is a picture of it.
And I will leave you with a little of her cheekiness when the rash was recovering a few weeks ago.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
The seller has been very kind in trying to help with the tracking of it but we still have no news at all.
I hope...I just hope that it will just appear in my mailbox soon.
Very very very sad.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
I have created a new blog just for my crafts... just to put everything pertaining to my craft work there.
I will still be posting bits and pieces here and majority of it goes there.
I like to blog because it helps me to look at myself and allows me to tell myself that I am not that useless afterall.
If you just want to read about the crafts, go to Wen Crafting.
If you just cannot get enough of my nonsense yak about my life then come back here for your dose often.
Friday, March 14, 2008
I have alway loved Carebears although not as obssess with it as Winnie the Pooh and Sanrio characters.
I remebered I took the same test before but cannot remember what kind of Carebear was I.
Now, I am Tenderheart... guess as time pass by we do things differently and value things differently hence the change.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Now, what do you think? Let me know so that I can improve. Thank you.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
So I let Ash have a go in the kitchen.
Ash still pouring away
Then stir away
Let's take a sniff...smells like... hmmm...
Read instructions to make sure its right
Now poor in the cool water to the hot mixture
Moulds all ready for Ash
There is more...
Monday, March 10, 2008
Despite the antibiotics and steriod creams, the rashes do come back and it gets infected.
When it is itching, she scratches them and it worsens the condition.
Recently the infected rash at her elbow was clearly up but she scratched it real bad.
It worsened yet again.
So we had to find a solution to prevent her from getting at it again.
At night, she wears her long sleeved pj to sleep and that helps as she cannot scratch the rash directly.
In the day, wearing long sleeved blouses is not an option unless we do not mind the increase electrical bill due to 24 air conditioning.
So I made a shrug for her.
It is cool enough to wear over a singlet and if the weather is warm, we can easily pull it of.
Material : 100 % cotton knit
Cost : Scraps from the ponchos that I made
Sunday, March 09, 2008
I started with cross stitches but have been neglecting it.
I had tried some Precious Moments designs but I have no idea where they went.
And for those projects that I had completed, I did not frame them up as there was no place for them to be hung up.
These were done some seven to ten years ago.
Then I tried my hands on sewing and started with quilting.
I made a blanket for Aver and then I planned another for Ash.
Although all the blocks had been cut I have yet to sew them yet.
It has been coming to a year.
After that I started to learn to sew for my two little girls.
I think I did sew a few more but I just do not have any photos to show...
Mental note to myself...take more photos!
Next I tried to sew a blouse for myself but it did not work out.
So there is definitely no photos to show at all.
Then there is the halter top I sewed for Pam.
There are other bits and pieces of things I have done.
Hair clips... or barrettes.
I am starting on another batch and this time I used ribbon embroidery and thread embroidery as designs.
There were also grocery bags.
And of course, there is the digital scrapbooking.
There... I have lsited down those that I have done in the past few years.
I have a lot of craft supplies sitting in my storeroom waiting for me to turn them into something nice.
Soon... my friends... soon.