OCBC Cycle 2011

This event took place two weeks ago and it was fun and a big challenge for me.


I do not cycle and have very limited experiences with cycling. My best-ever-to-be-remembered cycling episode was riding a rented bike right into a stationary pick-up truck, causing a great bruise on my shin and a dent on the truck, scaring the driver out of his seat and worried that I was badly hurt... (he was kind enough not to scold me though). I was about 21 years old then.



It was also at that age I met my Superpig and I had a date with him in my bruised shin and instead of a pat of comfort, I saw him huddled over laughing at my mishap. Him, on the other hand, was a pro in cycling (before he injured his knee) and was all athletic (note the used of the past tense!) After that incident, he decided that he should teach me how to cycle. However, his teaching amount to nothing as I fear cramped and crowded places. Anyone was to be near me when I was cycling, you could hear me SCREAM!!!



So I only cycled annually during the holidays with the kids on rented bikes. Those annual cycling exercises didnot amount to anything but butt and body aches and screaming at Superpig that I would not do it again.


Well, the screaming did not work. Instead, I was dragged into signing up for 20 km community ride. He promised that with 3 months to train, I should be well ready for the 20 km. Alas, 3 months went by with NO training ... except on one miserable night. I took 1.5 hour to do 10km... and I almost called in sick the next day due to all the aches I felt in all the muscles that I never knew they even existed.

The day eventually came and I did try to chicken out and was even scheming to eat lots of clams (see-hams with balachan chilli) to cause a dangerous stomach flu so as to get out of the 20km COMMUNITY RIDE (note the words in capital letters). No... my scheme did not work, Superpig was not letting me win this battle. The early morning of the fateful day, our bikes dismantled and packed into the car, our helmets tagged, we set off to the venue.

After breakfast, my hero went to put our bikes together again. Me... still trying to convince him that I will be a joke and please let me chicken out.

So obvious that I was not winning this 'chicken-out' battle... alas, a picture of us... before the COMMUNITY RIDE.

We... okay... I, made it to the start line. Without first, getting pushed around by some PRC rider that insisted that he had to cross the road before me and causing me to have a collision with my bike pedal and my shin... OUCH!!! And another accident, whereby I had to stop as there were people in front of me stopping to drink water and I had not able to switch lane as someone was coming up from behind... well, another someone rammed into me causing another shin and pedal collision ... OUCH!!!! (I found out later that the other someone was not very good in cycling too and he was wearing the click-on shoes for cycling which he was not confident enough to unclick himself...). There at the start-line, with bruises and blood on my right shin, we took a picture.

The massive number of cyclists at the start-line of the 20km COMMUNITY RIDE!

I cycled...I huffed and I puffed... all the way till I reached the 7.3km rest point (proof in picture below). Superpig laughed at my huffing and puffing... fine... I huffed and puffed... big deal. Yes, it was a big deal because I think I was the only one huffing and puffing away.



See my red face... I really am tired and shaking and trembling. I drowned 1.5 bottle of 100plus at this stage. 7.3 km was a mean feat for me already.

Then somewhere after the 7.3km came this long up slope! It was the Bayfront Bridge that has the Marina Bay Sands and the Singapore Flyers as its neighbours ... UPSLOPE!!!! You got to be kidding... volunteers at the bottom shouted out encouragements (as if it worked... duh...wanna come try doing it on my bike?) Superpig was on the way up... no problem for him at all... what a breeze! Me? I huffed and I puffed and my legs pedalled real hard but my bike was moving an inch with every twenty round of pedallin!!! I could have dismounted and pushed my bike up the slope. NO WAY!!! I am not letting Superpig a chance to laugh at me... I huffed and I puffed and I huffed and I puffed and I managed to get to the top of the slope (bridge... whatever!)

See his smirking face! ARhhhhh... how I LOVE him!

Here I was... trying my best to look as cool as a cucumber!


Now... look at the background and you will see a little girl... it was a breeze for her too!!!! I did mention that it was a community ride, didn't I? Which meant it should be a leisure ride, something that will not result in anyone HUFFING and PUFFING!!!

For the rest of the journey, it was still a huffing and puffing experience for me but I pedalled on till the end... 20km! I made it!


There we were at the end, with the medals to prove our success... okay, my success. I drowned another bottle of 100plus here. I was totally weak by now. Superpig had to help me with my bike. I had butt ache, calves cramps, shins cramps, toes cramps... and we still had to make our way back to the car which was a distance away.

There... I had completed my challenge. Next year, it will be another 2okm and I will not huff and puff anymore! I am determined to build up my stamina for it. And hopefully, in 2013, I can go on to the 40km challenge (OCBC should by then not be having this event anymore, considering the massive amount of money and manpower they had to put in for each event...)

Join me... anyone? 20km community ride for 2012....

My heart is heavy

Japan's massive earthquake, tsunami and nuclear leak... these are on my heart. The people suffering there, they are on my mind. I cannot do anything except to pray for every soul found (whether they survived or not).

It hurts as I do know people living in Japan, my old classmate, my Japanese language teacher's family, fellow bloggers... I pray for all to stay safe.

It simply hurts too much to watch the news.

I hope I can do something but what...

I can only pray for them and also for everyone that I love...

It really hurts a lot.

Lunar New Year

My blog posts are so out of sync with the the dates on the calender. Ha... that is one busy mum (that's why).

This is the first Lunar New Year in the new nest. It was easier as I have yet to collect too much dust and clutter, so spring cleaning was done in one day (not counting the bathrooms... which was left to the last minute).

As usual, both Superpig and I are the youngest in our families so no one will come to our place for visiting. So it was quite a quiet Lunar New Year which after the first hectic day, we were practically left on our own to enjoy the long weekend.

However, our good old friends did drop by and it was good. That is what this house is for... for friends to come and play catch up. Yet, there are a few who did not join us and they are missed. I hope to see them soon.

On the First Day, the two Princesses in their pretty dresses sponsored by their paternal Grandmother. When the two are in amicable moods, they love each other to bits. I wish for more of such days.

This little one is a very good poser. When she sees the camera, she will flash you her best toothy smile and then she gives you her two fingers pose. She is a charmer.

This other princess, on the other hand, is more self-conscious. She is very careful when she smiles as she worries about how her teeth will look. So it is more challenging to get a good photo of her. Yet, when you do, you will be rewarded with her demure charm (which she does not portray on her day to day life... she is a tomboy!)


And here we are... the four of us.
Lastly, enough of the princesses, enough of having four in a picture.
It's only us!

Have you read

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother?

I have not but it seemed to have caused a great uproar out there. Have caught a glimpse of the excerpt and had read a few of the comments about Amy Chua's parenting style.

From what I gathered, I may be very much like her. Unfortunately, my way of parenting is like this because I am not allowed to fail (up to this date and this age). If you had read my previous posts about my struggles, you will know that I have a very difficult mother to please. Plus, she imposes such stuffs on my children while praising her other grandchildren. People in our household are put down by her and compared to others. It is sad.

I am trying to strike a balance in my parenting style. My children needs to be pushed to their potential because like their father, they are very laid back.

I must get the book and read it to find out more about this tiger mother.

Edited to add: I have made a reservation with our community library for the book. It is really an hot item. All books are out on loan or reserved. It will take about 3 weeks before I get my chance. Well, spending $1.55 for reservation fee is better than spending much more to buy the book and then to leave on the shelf.

Happy New Year

I must be crazy... it has been four weeks into 2011 and here I am saying 'Happy New Year' to you. Well, the year started busy and busy and busy... there is no other words I can use to describe how the four weeks were.

I was hoping that this year will be less hectic and that I will be able to start on my tuition project but apparently my plan did not work out. After work, I rushed home to my two princesses and they drove me up the wall with quite a bit of their nonsense. I screamed at them (a lot)... which was not nice at all. I had pent up frustrations and stress from work, I was being patient with non-achieving pupils but lost all patience with my own princesses over something real small. I really hated myself for these four weeks.

With a tired body and mind, I set out to introduce myself to my pupils' parents via an email. It was a wrong choice... I had always had a good relationship with parents but not this time. That email I wrote was used to slap me in the face and it was 'corrected' in red, forwarded to the principal and was told that since I do not have a good command of English, I should not be teaching. The lesson I had learnt... no point being friendly to parents (they find opportunities to slap back at you), no point putting all my efforts to help the children (I ended up killing my own)... I am badly bruised from this particular incident. After so many years of teaching, this parent gave me a rude shock.

How bad can my 'new year' be? It sure was a 'happy' one.

Now... after all that, I really wish to get back on my crafting mood and get rid of all these bad vibes.

I am embarking on a crochet rabbit...

and... this year, my children are wearing store bought clothes for the Lunar New Year. I did not have time to sew for them. Upset.

But I read this on a notice board in another class...

I say ... 'I am lost'
God says..."I will guide you" (somewhere on that line... I forgot)

This year will really be a test on my faith. Getting out my Bible to help me stay on the right track. Pray for me... if you are reading.

Birthdays, Housewarming, Crafting, Relaxing...

The past few weeks were crazy around this house. There was massive unpacking and packing, sorting and throwing, drilling and cleaning... all for the sake of having a housewarming and birthday celebrations all in one.

First Fondant Cake (for the guests in the afternoon)

Second Fondant Cake (for the guests in the evening)

The two recipents of the cakes

Finally, a picture of the four of us.

I had always envied those people who could beautiful fondant cakes. I envied, I dreamt about it, I googled it, I youtubed it, I bought the ingredients, I tried it and it worked! I am proud of myself for the courage to try it. I am grateful for the many encouragement by Superpig and his usual,"You don't try, you will not know." attitude. I must also thank Aver for her mutliple food allergies that forced me to learn new ways of cooking and baking around those food items that she cannot eat.



Challenges push one to do things that he/she will not even think of doing. I have been put in many situations that are challenging and I must say that I walked out of these situations stronger but not without wounds. However, rather than crying over these wounds, I have learnt to soothe them and tell myself that I will not make the same mistakes hence suffer from the same wounds again.



Life is about facing our challenges, learning to overcome them and then looking forward to what lies ahead.




As for crafting... well, not much but I managed to squeeze in one yesterday as my children were taken off my hands.

I made three Kennys from South Park for my Superpig.

It is getting a tiny bit lonely here. It has just been my voice and only mine to be heard. My friends have seemed to have left this space...

I may even consider stopping ... it seems that I have lost a few good blogging friends too.

Alas...

A day out into the gardens ...

on our 11th wedding anniversary.

After of 11 years of each other's nonsense, we have two princesses added into our lives to add in more nonsense. These 11 years have been filled with lots of laughter, tears, shouting, screaming, hugging, presents, love, insecurity and much more but I want to only remember the good and goofy things.

I remember his love for me, his tolerance towards me, his patience, his understanding, his never-ending 'cold' jokes... I hope he will remember the good and goofy things about me too.

The two princesses and their added nonsense to brighten up our lives.

After all the packing of the cameras, we set off to the Botanical Gardens. I had the intention of having an informal family portrait surrounded by nature but the plan was not carried out as Superpig was enticed by the BEAUTIFUL orchids in the National Orchid Gardens. Oh well, I guess the family portrait can wait because my memory card (s) were also exhausted by the hundreds of clicking to capture the beauty of the orchids.

The princesses each were armed with digital cameras and my intention was for them to take photos of their loving parents but alas, the orchids caught their attention.

Seeing how bright he looks frolicking with the orchids, I cannot help it but to capture his gleeful look amongst the orchids that shared his colour on his shirt. He was so compatible with those little yellow ones.

This little princess with her cheeky smile and her digital camera caught the eyes of a group of Indian tourists who insisted on having her on their video. They sort of scared her ... she did not cooperate with them, gave them a blank stare and ran to hide behind her daddy's backside.

This big princess, on the other hand, had difficulty trying to smile. She doesn't really like to smile for the camera so it was a difficult task for me to take a pretty photo of her.

And that was how we spent the earlier part of the day, all wet with perspiration, out frolicking with the orchids. For the later part of the day, we soaked in air-conditioned mall, indulged in
tubs of pop-corn, watching a kid friendly movie "Mega Mind". To top it all off, we had a nice, cheap dinner at the basement of PS and three packs of chocolates as anniversary gifts to each other.

This year, there was no mega celebration in fancy restaurant nor big presents that burn our pockets. We simply enjoyed ourselves with our children with the simplest pleasures.

I will be back to show you the photos of the lovely orchids that sucked up all the memory in my memory cards of three cameras.

We are quite comfortably settled

Renovation for the new nest was held up and we had no where to go but to cramp in my mum's flat for about a week. Then, we moved ourselves into a 40% completed nest and we lived around all the inconveniences but we survived.

Now, we are almost done with the renovation. There is only the grilles left for the balcony to be up and about another twenty-five boxes to up pack... then we are done.

Today and tomorrow, I am taking these days off from the unpacking and am going to enjoy the time with my husband and my girls.

Today, 23 November, is the day that we have been married for 11 years! These 11 years were incredible... really love him and my girls. Really love my family.

11 years of togetherness...

...

More on the moving...

And so I have been busy packing. I have been packing for the last few weekends and I am surprised by the enormous amount of stuff I have at home. Eventhough, I tried to eliminate stuffs that I do not need, I realised that I had recently packed up the house once and had back then threw away quite a bit of excess items.

Week 2 of packing

Week 3 of packing

And then, I lost track of the days and time as the discussion for the renovation kicks in. All that I remembered is that all the weekends, I was under house arrest, packing away. I get an occasional call from Superpig to get out of the house to go looking for bathroom accessories, beds and so on. When I got these calls, I would be extremely upset because my progress for packing comes to a standstill.

Here is the most recent outlook of the boxes... my windows are 80% covered up with the boxes. I am at Box 54 as of this posting.

If you are wondering why is the picture so dark... that is because I have practically covered the windows. We have no more space around the house to place the boxes.

Later at noon, we will unofficially get the keys to our new home. I am so excited about it that I cannot continue with my packing. I just hope that the previous owner will keep his words ... He had removed some items that are considered as fictures in the house. But, because the stuffs that he had removed were not significant so I will let it pass. I am afriad that he will do something drastic.

Our Journey to A New Home

It has been roughly a week after we had signed on the dotted line at HDB office to sell our current place and to buy the other one.



After that day, everything seems to be going on fast forward. The time we have on hand to get the renovation details finalised is in less than a week. The time we have on hand to get our stuffs packed up is five weeks. Although it five weeks seems a long time, it is actually not as I still have to work daily and there is the need to prepare Ash for her upcoming exams. I only have the weekends to work on the packing or late at night...



First up... I started packing my Precious Thots Figurines and that took me a total of 3 days (over 2 weeks). Yesterday, all but three figurines went into their respective boxes.

These are 2/3 of the figurines left over from last week's packing.

A whole day of being confined at home to do the packing. (Due to lack of time on my hand, I have to be under house arrest!)


The figurines in their respective boxes ... almost done.

DONE!!! The cabinets sit lonely and empty now.

Today's job is to put all these into the mover's boxes.

What is depression?
It is a feeling of lost, self-worthlessness, despair, anxiety .. all negative feelings of oneself put into a pot and brewed over time.

How does it come about?
Believe me, it comes from how one was treated before. When you are constantly compared to another, and no matter how much you have done, it is always falling short.

Never a praise but always a sacarsm.
Never a pat at the back for a good effort also a kick in the butt for wasting time...

Till now, I have accomplished so much but seemed to have gain little.
Till now, I still question myself, "What is my worth?"

I had asked myself why am I always so down in the mood, I finally understood.
I can never measure up to what my mother wants.
No matter how I tried to please her, it is always falling short.
What is she measuring against?
I have no idea...
It could be my brothers, her daughter-in-law, herself, my cousin...
It pains me to hear her praise others but never never never me.

I grew up not know what is my worth and till now, I still do not know.

I used to seek love and self-worth from friends but it is short lived because I return home and the comparison continues.

I seek to be the nicest person on earth, always willing to help my so-called friends and ended up tired and sad because I realised that I am nothing but a stinky old doormat.

I try to do my best in everything but end up being hyper stressed out.

I try to give all my time to everyone who wants it but end up leaving no time for myself.

I try and I try and I try... but I yeild nothing but all these negativity in me.

Through my mother's words, I learnt that I am stupid, I am useless, I am a spendthrift, I am a lousy mother, I am a lousy wife, I am useless daughter, I am a stupid teacher... and there are more....


If anyone is reading this and is a mother, please be watchful of what you say to your children... the impact is a lifetime... and it hurts.

If only my mother knows ... but even if she does... she will just say ,"Then, you think you are a better mother?"

Singapore's 45th Birthday

Yesterday, we celebrated the nation's independence of 45 years.
For 45 years, we have came a long way and with all the hardship of our ancestors, we the descendents get to enjoy the luxurious economy growth. So, for the sake of our children, we should also strive for stable economic growth and peaceful harmony between all races.

We were actually out and about looking at furniture for some ideas for our new place and when we drove home, we realised that at our town centre, it was set up for a fireworks. So we went home, took a rest while watching the NDP live on TV. When it was almost time, we walked to the town centre and experienced the fireworks up close!


When the firework started, everyone was excited and you will hear a long continuous scream and that would be Aver. She claimed that she wanted to be louder than the fireworks!


The second burst of fireworks came as a surprise!


And as we were about to leave to head home, the thrid burst started!


We enjoyed ourselves. Hope you had enjoyed your National Day too.

Heartached

Was out real late the night before with Superpig running an errand, we ate at a coffeeshop that is surrounded by pubs and nightclubs. Sitting at a table, was a little girl, most probably 5 or 6 years old. She was having her dinner too. She looked bored. She is the daughter of the Thai food stallholders.


Looking at her brought back memories of myself sitting at a school canteen trying to entertain myself when my mother was tending to her drinks stall. At the early years, she works from 6 in the morning till 9 into the night. I spent most of my childhood in schools... my own school during school hours and then the school where my mother worked after my school hours.

I saw that little girl and my heart ached. Her childhood is spent in the coffeeshop looking at her parents sweat to earn the dough. She spent her childhood looking at the 'ladies' working at the pubs. She spent her childhood trying to survive in a very adult world, trying to make sense of what is happening around her.

At least for myself, my childhood surrounding was still rather innocent. Hers is more complicated.

My heart ached for her... and her parents for their needs to work hard for the dough.

Saturday Shot

This is what happened when we were waiting at home...

They decided to be acrobats.

Cupcake Day

It is coming to the end of the June holiday and I finally decided to get the kids involved in cupcake making. It is a non-dairy. eggless cupcake which Aver can enjoy along with her sister.

The cupcakes came out flat. Should be due to the 'no egg' issue. However, it is still nice to eat.

These are Mango Cuppies.

These are Raisin and Choco Chips Cuppies.

Enjoy along with us, please.

Science Centre, we went

Just Monday, we went to Science Centre for the Pixar Exhibition and also caught Toy Story 2 in 3D. We could not take pictures in the exhibition but sure enjoyed seeing the sketches they did while working on each film.

After the exhibition, we went around Science Centre and it sure was interesting for the princesses. Maybe, I will bring them back again... provided I know how to drive there... it is a good 45 mintues drive (provided I don't get lost.)

Aver with her favourite Tigger... she needs his ears to sleep.



And I found out that I am not that unique afterall... I am a COMMONER!

Aver said...

Aver said the darnest thing...

One morning, when she was done with clearing her bowel, she said,"Mummy, there is only one en en."
"One only?" I asked to confirm before cleaning her.
"Yes, one only. My backside says one is enough. Don't need to have so many."

Aver likes to skip and run along the corridor when we go out. She will happily skipp and sing but when she comes to Aunty Jenny's unit, she will stop.
The last two days, Aunty Jenny was home and Aver stopped in her tracks and said,"I am a good girl... I am a good girl..." She showed Aunty Jenny a thumbs up and then skipped away quietly.

My craft projects so far...

I thought I just list the stuffs that I had made for the last month and what I will be doing for the up coming months.

Finished...
1. Crochet coin purses
2. Buckwheat pillows for friends' coming-soon babies
3. Zippered pouches for Aver's childcare teachers as farewell gifts

Going to ...
1. More crochet coin purses for upcoming Teachers' Days
2. Polymer Clay food magnets for upcoming Teachers' Days
3. A few blouses for myself
4. A few dresses for the princesses
5. Tag blankies for friends' coming-soon babies