Saturday, December 08, 2007

Turned 32 - 07 December 2007

When I reached this date, I should be happy as it is my birthday.
However, I did not really feel good about it.
It got nothing with the age and everything to do with what I had accomplished in these 32 years.

I failed in my teaching career, leaving teaching in a very bad mental state.
Till this very day when I pass by the school I last teach, I still shudder in fear and anxiety.
Because of this mental inability to handle the stress I am and still not able to return to teaching full time. (Although it is partially due to childcare issues.)
Due to this, Superpig is put under extreme stress to bring in the dough.
Due to this, Superpig and myself have many squabbles and unhappiness.
I understand his stress but I fear another massive breakdown that will harm everyone in my family if I was to return to teaching full time.

Then there is the issue of my daughters.
I feel that I have not really taught them well.
Due to my constant dipping into depressive mood, I feel that both are badly affected.

So I felt that at age 32, I have achieved nothing and not worth celebrating.

However, as Ash's birthday party is coming up in a few days, I need to get the cupcakes baked the right way plus the icing.

So I kicked myself out of bed and started baking and creamed away.

Once that was done, Superpig suggested that we should go to the zoo since he had specially taken the day off.

So off we went to the zoo, with the rain clouds hovering over us.

Had a nice KFC lunch under the dark clouds and then God sent a little shower to shoo us to find a shelter to eat under.

After lunch, Superpig gave me a chance to do a little shopping at Compass Point.

Then we head on home to rest and watch a rented movie.

And to end it all, we headed to the airport for dinner with a few friends.
At the end ... I think I may have failed in certain areas I am not hopeless.
I look forward to a new day, to a new project, to a new skill that I may pick up and learn...
I am glad that I am still around when I reach the age of 32.

Happy Birthday to Myself.


Superpig said...

You are doing excellent job in grooming our kids.

Thou u had set backs in your return full time teaching. I know in my heart u are an achiever. Ur stringent attitude towards providing quality teaching and assesment has proven.

So dun feel lousy just because a day dun go as you planned. and dun stay gloomy the whole day/weeks.

So happy bday! hope you like the present our buddies gave.

honeymeow said...

Happy Birthday!! May you be blessed with many happy returns for the upcoming year..

Love all a La Casa De Sims :)

And fwaaahhhhhh!! Kenny is looking good!! Hhahaha Good job so far!

Mel said...

i think you're a great mum and wife - surely that is something to be proud of!

babylove said...

Wendy, nope.. i think you did a great job managing the home, the children. I can say that Ashlyn is so talented under your tender care and guidance..

Happy Birthday.