Friday, September 19, 2008

I was looking through the photos that I had taken recently and it occured to me that I had not been taking much pictures of the nature, i.e. flowers. It then dawned on me that I had been so preoccupied with trying to get things done on the homefront and battling with the oncoming depression that I totally did not see anything beautiful.

I am not trying to get any attention from this post just trying to pen down my thoughts, for those who are going"tsk..tsk.. tsk.. there she goes again... whine whine whine".

Oh yes, that was what one particular mother sort of implied when I ranted and vented at a particular mothers' forum.

Anyway, with the many things going around here, I felt the weights on my shoulders and it got heavier by the day. And my moods went down real fast, so I knew that depression is setting in. However, I want to say that I managed to keep it away.

I am not depressed (yet... and have no intention to)!

I am well and am on the way to get myself perked up.

The last few weeks, I refused to look atmyself in the mirror or anything that will bear my reflection. It bothers me a lot. The person I saw in the mirror is tired, dark, sad... I was so shocked! (I do not even have a picture to show you how bad I looked.)

Now that I am better, I am working on keeping up my appearance. Make-up everyday...that will be powder and lipstick. Just a little dash of colour on the lips and I look better.

Then there is the weight issue... no, I have not successfully lost any weight since the last time I mentioned about it. I am still trying to struggle with time management. It is almost impossible to head out to exercise as the girls demand so much of my attention. But I do have that U-Robic at home which was bought for the sole purpose of helping me shape up AT HOME!

So I am determined to refresh my memories and refresh my soul ...

Depression is a very scary thing and it is a long and hard battle. One may be on the way of recovery but when you get careless, it comes back and grabs you hard! I fight my battles and I fight them well!

Now, I look forward to the projects that I had planned.

1. Bags for Children's Day (We celebrate Children's Day on 1 September, so I am making soem bags for Aver's classmates)

2. Hairbands for Ash's classmates (Ash is in an all-girls school so it is easy to decide what to make for them)

You may be asking why am I making these stuff for the children...well, i don't know too. Just that it is fun to get some crafts done and I like to give. The simple joy of sharing and seeing the little ones happy.)

3. Planning for Ash's and Aver's birthdays

For those who do not know... Ash and Aver is conceived on the same day five years apart. Ash was borned on 14 Decemeber and Aver was borned on 16 December... and I must note that I was borned on 7 Decemeber...

4. Get my butts working on the uRobic!

5. Contniue with my writings.

6. Simply be happy!

So I leave you with, what I personally think, a happy and nice picture of me.

And a prayer to God...

Dear Lord,

Thank you for watching over me when I was in the dark.

Thank you for holding on to me firmly and not letting me fall.

Although I had questioned the many things that happened and why was I always being put on the test, I knew You did not forget me.

I pray for Your forgiveness when my faith was weak and when I ran away from You.

Now, I pray that I will be able to face each day with the strength that You provide me.

With Your armour over me, I can and will be able to stand up to any battle and seek victory in Your Name.



Suzanne said...

Thats a lovely photo of you Wen. If you need to pen your thoughts pen them, they add a touch of healing. Life is hard sometimes, try and hang in there but remember it is OK to feel like you feel. You are busy and not getting enough time for your creative outlet. Take care Wen.

Arkerchi said...

Thank u Suzanne. Taking good care of myself now :)