Wednesday, October 19, 2005

PSLE Marking Days = No work

Yup... four days of PSLE marking strted yesterday. So I do not have to go to work. It also means that for these four days, I will not have any income.

These four days are good for me to get some of my video editing done. I havr put it off for years already. Years... eversince Ashlyn turned one year old. Thereafter, I was too occupied with lots of work. So I had no time to do any editing of all the videos that we had taken.

Looking back at those tapes, I am very surprised that Ashlyn did not really change much. She still have the same kind of actions when she cries, laughs, talks and so on.

I really miss those times when I did not work and stayed home to ake care of her. Those days, my temper was a lot better, Now, my temper is so bad that it scares me too.

Haven't really been very happy eversince I returned to work. And now, I am trying to get a balance of my life. I am losing control on a lot of things and like what my ex-colleague said I am a control freak plus a perfectionist. I am trying very very hard not to be. I need to relax or one day I will burst and there will be no return. Scary? Yup... I am scared myself too.

The one thing I can say now is that I am better working as an adjunct teacher but yet again I have to handle the stress of finance. Of course, with this current work I do not have to do as much as before, more relaxed and all but there is the pay cut. Hence, we have to learn to live with lesser.

So, ultimately, I still return to the Lord and ask, "How? Can I handle all these? Will You be there to reassure and help us through everyday of our lives?"

As of now, I know the answer is Yes! He had never given up pn me or my family, no matter what happened He had been there to cushion my fall. So I know that with faith and trust, all things will be well.

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