Yup... four days of PSLE marking strted yesterday.  So I do not have to go to work.  It also means that for these four days, I will not have any income.
These four days are good for me to get some of my video editing done.  I havr put it off for years already.  Years... eversince Ashlyn turned one year old.  Thereafter, I was too occupied with lots of work.  So I had no time to do any editing of all the videos that we had taken.  
Looking back at those tapes, I am very surprised that Ashlyn did not really change much.  She still have the same kind of actions when she cries, laughs, talks and so on.  
I really miss those times when I did not work and stayed home to ake care of her.  Those days, my temper was a lot better,  Now, my temper is so bad that it scares me too.
Haven't really been very happy eversince I returned to work.  And now, I am trying to get a balance of my life.  I am losing control on a lot of things and like what my ex-colleague said I am a control freak plus a perfectionist.  I am trying very very hard not to be.  I need to relax or one day I will burst and there will be no return.  Scary?  Yup... I am scared myself too.
The one thing I can say now is that I am better working as an adjunct teacher but yet again I have to handle the stress of finance.  Of course, with this current work I do not have to do as much as before, more relaxed and all but there is the pay cut.  Hence, we have to learn to live with lesser.
So, ultimately, I still return to the Lord and ask, "How?  Can I handle all these?  Will You be there to reassure and help us through everyday of our lives?"
As of now, I know the answer is Yes!  He had never given up pn me or my family, no matter what happened He had been there to cushion my fall.  So I know that with faith and trust, all things will be well.