Stressed out parents in Singapore, myself included

Had to put this down to remind myself to watch my own actions.

I was at a beautiful nursing / diaper changing room in a mall ready to express my milk. This is a once a week routine since I have to go to school once in a week. I totally hated the idea of expressing in the staff toilet so I make an effort to go to the mall before I go to work.

As I was saying, every Wednesday there will be a mother and daughter in the nursing room too. The girl will take a nap on the little bench in that room for how long I am not sure. Why does she have to take a nap there? I do not have any idea too... my guess is that they have another lesson in the same mall to go to after that nap.

However, this particular day was different. The girl had to complete a teachers' day card for the upcoming Teachers' Day. Her mother was trying to get her to write the words "Happy Teachers' Day".

The conversation below is as best as I can remember...

Mother: Remember har... I want you to write small small.
Daughter: Okay. But why, Mummy?
Mother: You must learn to write small already. How can you keep writing so big.
Daughter: Okay

Since I was in a little room, I can only guess what is going on outside on that little bench.
A moment of silence later...

Mother: Why you write like that? Can't you write properly? Follow the card below!
Daughter: (give a little whine)
Mother: Your handwriting so ugly. Everyday you have to write one page for me.
Daughter: I don't want...
Mother: No! You will write two pages for me.
Daughter: I don't want. I write one page. (Whine plus sobbing)
Mother: You don't bargain with me. I say two means two. You not shameful meh? You handwriting so ugly. You not shameful, I see already also shameful! You teacher see already also shameful! You are K1 already. One more term, you will finish K1 then you will go K2, still write so ugly!
Daughter: (very quiet)

Mother: Capital letter! (slap or hit daughter)
Daughter: (sobbing)
Mother: Capital letter.. you never hear me say meh?
Daughter: Got...
Mother: Then why you still write small letter! Don't make me angry har? I am very angry liao! Why must you always like that! teaching you very frustrating!
Daughter: (quiet now)

At this point, I realised that I was hearing myself ... it sounded so familiar.

Mother: Write bigger! you write so small who knows what you are writing! Write bigger lah! Three words only also make me so angry. Can you see the card below? Copy it lah! I put the card below so you can copy. What is the card for?
Daughter: For me to copy... (sobbing again)

Okay, I was a little confused ... didn't the mother said to write "small small" at the beginning?
Also, I felt all tensed up in the room that my milk expressing session was not at all successful/
I also felt so sad for the little girl and for Ash too. I was at the verge of crying and was shivering uncontrollably.

Mother: Aiyoh! Why you write like that! I tell you the whole of next week I am not going to bring you out anywhere! You are staying at home to do homework.
Daughter: No... I want to go out... (sobbing)

I got too emotional to continue expressing in there plus milk was not flowing so I thought it would be better for me to get out of there.

I must also mention that the mother did hit the daughter a few times during that whole session.

When I got out of the cubicle, I wanted to tell the mother to relax and also to stop shouting at her as it does not help in the situation at all. I know because I am like that too when teaching Ash.

Through her, I saw myself clearly and I also felt the fear the child was feeling. It is all clear to me then... we are all too stressed up in our Singapore education system.

Why are parents spending hundreds after hundreds of dollars in finding the best enrichment class for their children? The Learning Lab... promise to deliver results, all so posh and expensive. Growing Up Gifted... the name itself is enough to pull the crowd. Shichida ... training a genius at an exorbitant price. And the list go on...

I am caught up in it too. I am tempted to put Aver into Shichida school and Ash to Learning Lab...but I cannot afford the fees. I realised that the time I spend with them, teaching them through playing at home, spending only a fraction of the fees, my daughters are still learning well.

Walking out of the nursing room, I promised myself to stopped being so stressed up over Ash and her studies. She is a very clever girl and she performs so much better then her peers. She did not attend any posh enrichment lessons. I taught her at home but it was not a stress free event. Now, I will ensure that it will be stress free.

I'm not a plastic bag too!

Okay... I finally managed to get this project done over the weekend.

I managed to make two of them and will be making more of it.

Trust me, I will be using these instead of plastic bags when I go grocery shopping with Superpig.

However, for wet, cold, frozen food, there will be a problem... Still thinking of a way out of it.

Oh... I love crafts.

Black Pepper Crab Version 2.0

Went to the supermarket on Sunday with the intention of buying vegetables for Aver's meals, Superpig saw the live crabs were on offer. He could not resist. (There are two things he cannot resist; crab and durians)

So he painstakingly chose 3 live crabs.

So based on a recipe shared by a mum on the forum, I whipped up Black Pepper Crabs.

And the end result ...

I must say that I truly enjoyed it too.

What is your say, Superpig?

A new dress for Aver

I cannot help but be elated with myself.

I managed to complete a dress for Aver in about 5 hours or a little more.
I started it the night before and continued this morning as Aver napped.

Since I finished it while she was napping, I cannot resist putting it on her.

Here she is looking nice in her new dress.

My two prettey girls in their new dresses.

For now... another item strike off from my To-do list.

Yipppeeee!

Update of my To-Do List

Previously...

On my to-do list...

1. A "I'm not a plastic bag 2" bag....Ha ha ha... it is not a joke.
It is true I am caught up in the craze of that expensive safe the earth bag (which does nothing to safe your pockets though). So together with Superpig, we decided on our own version of it.

-->> Have not started

2. A nice bag for my breast pump which I need to carry to work every Wednesday.

-->> Have not started

3. A dress for Aver (similar to her sister)
Since their age differ by 5 years, it is very difficult to find clothes that are the same for the both of them. I kind of like the idea that they wear similar dresses. So I decided to sew for them.

-->> Have not started

4. Crochet leg warmers for Aver.
These will keep her legs warm when she wear her little short pants and skirts when we are out in the malls.

-->> COMPLETED and super proud of it!

5. Scrap booking albums of both girls
(yes ... scrap booking is still around. I simply love it!)

-->> Have not started


It is not much of an accomplishment but at least I am able to strike off something from the list.

However with one item removed, I have to add more in...

The add-ons:

1. Clear out the study room.
It has become very very cluttered. Well, things that have not been in use will have to go.
Bye...

2. Start selling off our Precious Moments Collection
It is time to say goodbye to majority of it. We have decided that since we are only concentrating on the Angels series then the rest have to go. On top of that, we will not be buying new ones either.
Bye...

A pair of leg warmers for Aver

On those nights that I could not sew as Aver was unable to sleep well, I crocheted. Its easier to put down and attend to her when she wakes up.

It took me about four night to get this done. I also stole a bit of time in the afternoons when Ash was doing her homework and Aver took her afternoon naps.

To make sure that Aver's pesky little hands don't get into the yarn, I hide it away in this little tissue box. Best of all, everything is neatly kept in there rather than sprawling around on the table.

A new dress for Ashlyn

It took me about a week to complete this dress. Not that it is a difficult dress to sew, its the lack of time. I can only sew at night after the girls have fallen asleep.



Above that Aver must be sleeping soundly but the last week she was not sleeping well. It could be due to her rashes or teething or both.



Anyway, I managed to steal a little time to get the dress sewn.

The pictures are taken using my handphone so it doesn't do much justice to the dress nor the model herself. I promise to take better pictures of it this weekend.

Sunday activities -12 August 2007

Was not feeling very well in the throat region so decided not to go to church. Plus have been rather tired lately and would like to stay home and rest.


Want to stay home and rest? - Don't sound one bit like me.


Anyway...


Despite the pain in the throat, I prepared the penguin pancakes for breakfast. Since I was sick I could actually not do it at all. However, since I had promised Ash, I think I would just delivery my promise.


So everyone enjoyed the pancakes with the exception of Aver, of course.


After breakfast, Ash decided that she wanted to do her Pooh activity book. So off she went.



While Aver napped and Ash with her activity, Superpig was with his PC and me with mine. I was happily surfing the web to find interesting crafts to do...sewing patterns, crocheting and so on.



We were suppose to go out with my brother and family for lunch but no one seemed interested in moving out of the comfort of our house (despite the mess).



So there was lunch and then there was nap time (a second one for Aver).



Superpig having a snooze on the sofa.

Ash lazing on her sofa bed.









Aver in her ever so cute sleeping pose. (The picture is in another phone waiting to be uploaded)

And after they woke up, my turn to crash on the sofa.

I am so into my crafts

I love being a stay-at home mum.

I enjoy looking at my little ones growing up. I enjoy the fact that I have control over how I want them to be... like their diet and so on.

I enjoy having the ability to note down all the little things that they do.

Furthermore, I enjoy doing things for them.

I am so into my crafts that it helps to put out all those irritating, non-constructive, harmful, self-pitying, depressive thoughts. Okay, I admit that they do come back once in awhile but I fight it off. I switch on my laptop, go online and then surf the web, look for sewing projects, read other sewers' blog and then get all spruce up again.

So what have I done so far?

I have...
1. Reform the boring white bibs to sweet little things. (It had been posted up earlier)
2. In the process of completing a dress for Ash.

Well, I have not done much but there are many to be done.

On my to-do list...
1. A "I'm not a plastic bag 2" bag....

Ha ha ha... it is not a joke. It is true I am caught up in the craze of that expensive safe the earth bag (which does nothing to safe your pockets though). So together with Superpig, we decided on our own version of it.

2. A nice bag for my breast pump which I need to carry to work every Wednesday.

3. A dress for Aver (similar to her sister)

Since their age differ by 5 years, it is very difficult to find clothes that are the same for the both of them. I kind of like the idea that they wear similar dresses. So I decided to sew for them.

4. Crochet leg warmers for Aver.

These will keep her legs warm when she wear her little short pants and skirts when we are out in the malls.

5. Scrap booking albums of both girls (yes ... scrap booking is still around. I simply love it!)

Am I not a busybee?

Thank you Superpig for your encouragements, your support (by ferrying me to Spotlight), your monetary contributions, and many more. I love you, Superpig!

Oops... I forgot one more project that is still sitting in the sewing box. A quilt for Ash...it is quite a big project so I am waiting for more courage to build up.

A little present for a little baby girl

A friend's baby just turned a month old and we have no idea what to give her.

Clothes? Well, think she will have quite a bit of clothes already.
Red packet? That is already in the plan but somehow it does not seems enough.
Toys? What kind of toys will be suitable and will she already have it?

So I decided that the best is to give her something that I made by myself.

I did a digital scrapbook album for her.

Boring to Sweet ...

I am referring to the bibs that Aver is using. They are the boring white ones that are from Ikea. Kind of tired of looking at it. Wanted to get better looking ones but with those prices ... I know I will not bear to use them.

So this is what I did to them.

Will be doing more of it soon.

That is when I get over my moodiness about my not so fantastic life.

Yes, I am in one of those moods again.

I am lamenting why I am not able to accomplish all those projects that I had listed earlier.

Getting a bit frustrated with myself and my lame excuse of being tired.

Dinner on 29 August 2007, Sunday

Not a very good cook but need something to spur me on. So I decided to to try preparing crab.

Superpig loves crab. That is the biggest motivation for me.

So that afternoon, I asked him to contact my brother and mum to come over for dinner. Actually with the intention of poisoning them ... ha ha ha... that is how my brother view my cooking.

Then we went in search of the crabs and other stuff needed for the dinner.

And the end result ...

I must say that the food is not that bad. No one was poisoned. However, the black pepper sauce was not right. So next time, will go search for the right sauce....

God's Medication - 02 August 2007

If you forgive men when they sin against you,

your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive men their sins,

your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6: 14-15

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If you can remember, I posted about a lady who collected expressed breast milk and then sold it to those who needed it. Well, there is no way this act can be confirmed. Did she really do it? Of course, there were other things that she had done which really cause many ladies to be very angry and upset. Everyone was ready to voice out their grievances and ready to pounce at her if she does appear.

Everyone who came in contact with this lady was really angry and hence it sparked a fiery discussion in the forum. Then it turned to finger pointing and trying to dig up each other's past dealings.

Then it went on to how we should forgive and move on. However, forgiveness was not seen. Daily new information would be posted on the forum about her. Daily there would be more and more people coming forward to air their grievances. Daily there would be new drama.

For me, I read the discussions but decided that I would not join in anymore. I wrote to comment about the selling of the EBM and was truly upset by it. Then I left it as that. I refused to go and think too much into the matter. So what if she really had sold it? Do I ask her for the money? Since I had decided to give it away then I will have to leave it at that.

Ladies in the forum mentioned that this lady's act was despicable. They pitied her daughter who has such a mother. They said that they will pray for her. They say that they are willing to let go if she came forth to explain her actions. She did but it was in another forum. Her explanation was not what they wanted. They were even more angry.

They said that they want to forgive...

What is forgiveness? By going back and forth about her, is definitely not forgiveness. Digging more into her past, is definitely not forgiveness. Asking for more people to come forth with evidences of her act, is not forgiveness.

Forgiveness is like how God forgive us for our sins.

Our sins are wiped out!

So the first step will be to pray for our own sins, our anger to be be forgiven.

Next step, to pray that He will help us to forgive the person who had sinned against us.

Last step, forget what had happened and moved on.

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If you forgive men when they sin against you,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their sins,
your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6: 14-15