God's Medication - 30 July 2007

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

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Was in church the day before and was reading through 'The Link' similar to a newsletter thingy we get every Sunday during service. There was an excerpt from Pastor Rony Tan's sermon and it really made me realised that I had been very very short-sighted.

It mentioned that do we have troubles? Do we have many troubles in our lives? The answer is positive. I have many troubles so much so that I am constantly stressing myself out.

However, it read ... of course you have troubles. Troubles are part of our life. It is not the troubles that are the problem. The problem is how we face our troubles. The attitude that we have when we are faced with these troubles.

Hey... that is true. Everywhere and every time, there will be trouble waiting for us. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed that I want to give up. I even questioned Him. I asked,"Why, Father? Why can't you let me have some peace? Why do I have so many problems that I need to solve all at the same time?"

Well, now I know the answer. I was too busy counting all the troubles and trying to solve them one at a time. However, I forgot to quieten myself and submit my life to Him and to ask Him to help me.

So, troubles are part of life, our attitude towards them will determine whether we can overcome them or be drowned by them.

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Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Butter Cake

Two weeks ago, I baked a butter cake as Ash wanted to have it as lunch the next day at school before her P1 Prep Class.

I must say that I succeeded with my first try. Especially like the way the cake has a star on it.

God's Medication - 24 July 2004

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Luke 6:31

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This is really so true. We personally do not like it when other cheat us so why should we cheat others. Recently, there is this big squabble on two of the forums that I visit. It is about this particular lady who will buy things from other mothers and resell it again at a higher price or will get free items from other mothers than she sell it away. Then the most incredible thing was that she sold the expressed breast milk from donated by other mothers to a particular family in need. That was what made me jumping with anger. I happened to donate some of my precious milk to her.

After so many days of accusations flying in both forums, this lady sent an email stating that she did not do all those things and her name was made used by some other people. That is also a little impossible because everyone who was cheated by her all point to the same name, same emails, same hand phone number and the same person (because they ever met her before).

So from this particular incident, I have learnt that sometimes we may do things to others and feel nothing about it but if the table is turned, I don't think we will like it one bit. Not that I ever cheated anyone.

So whatever we say or do, there is a need to think before we leap.

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Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Luke 6:31

Botanical Gardens

Went to the Botanical Gardens yesterday afternoon in search of the tree that bloomed red flowers.

It was a nice walk in the garden. The last time were there was like three years ago when there was an orchid exhibition. Had always liked the place.

Hope that we can go there more often for a walk instead of the shopping centres.

These are the pictures that Ash took with her digital camera.

God's Medication - 19 July 2007, Thursday

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42:5-6

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Woke up this morning feeling rather down casted. Could be because I know that I would be alone to handle the children as husband has to go off earlier for a meeting. I don't blame him just feel that I am not so independent after all.

With this foul mood, I turned to His Words and the verse jumped out at me. Yes, why am I in a foul mood? What is it that made me feel so moody? Since I cannot understand why I was feeling so moody, why continue to wallow in it?

Really, it is time to lift my head up, put my hope in God and sing a praise out loud to him.

Instead of trying to find out why I am moody, I should look around me and find things to praise Him for.

Both my daughters are healthy. My husband has a job. I have a job. We have a wonderful home to stay in (but needs to throw out the clutter...) and many many wonderful things to thank Him for.

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Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42:5-6

God's medication for 18 July 2007

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you;

he will never let the righteous fall.

Psalm 55:22

Have been participating in a forum for mothers (http://www.moms4moms.info/sg/) and got to know some nice mothers. Through them, I learnt scrap booking, sewing and many more.

It is also there that I realised I am not alone facing the darkness of depression. I learnt to be stronger through their encouragements.

It is through the forum I got to know this lady who is facing difficulties in her daily live. She encouraged me when I was fighting my depressive mood. Now, it is my turn to help her. I had "talked" to her over the MSN messenger and realised that she is struggling.

Hence, I decided to start another topic "God's Medication". This will allow me to share with others what God had done for me. It is time for me to sow the seeds.

Many times, we tend to take things into our own hands. We want to achieve everything at the fastest time. We want to be the best in the neighbourhood. We want to be the ones praised by our bosses. However, these are the wants that will push us into the state of depression.

It boils down to not what we want but what God has planned for us. Hence, every time when we are struggling, take a deep breathe , close you eyes and pray. Tell Him your concerns, your needs, your fears and ask Him for guidance.

He may not answer directly but the answers will come. Be patient and be still then you will be able to hear His answers.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22

Holidays were over for 4 weeks...

and what was I busied with?

Actually, I have not gotten back into a proper routine yet. Kenny had a fake dengue fever scare three weeks ago and hence had a difficult time trying to cope with his up and down fever. I was also very worried as the doctors were not very prompt in getting the blood test results. Plus two doctors (of the same clinic) gave different diagnosis at the end. However, it lasted for one week and thereafter, he was better and I thought I could return to normal schedule.

Then the last week, Ash had a high fever and that went up and down for three to four days and coupled with diarrhoea. So everything went hay wired again.

So I had been rather busy.

There are many things that I want to do but really am feeling a bit lousy to do anything at all. I feel another bout of depression coming in again and I do not know what is the trigger.

Hopefully, by penning down the things that I need to do will help me keep more focused and hence kick that depression away.

Things to do:
1) Organise photographs for printing
2) Scrap booking project for Ash (from birth to now)
3) Scrap booking project for Aver
4) Edit videos... many of them
5) Sewing of dress for Ash
6) Sewing of quilt for Ash
7) Prepare picture flashcards for Aver


Okay, I do have a lot of things on hand to do but why do I feel so empty and useless? Something must be very wrong with me.

I had also made up my mind to curb our spending. I realised that we had been out shopping over the weekends and that really hurt out pockets. Hence, I told Superpig that weekends should be spent in parks, libraries and zoo. I must try to stay away from shopping centres. That should not be difficult as there are many projects to do with Ash while at home too.

Now, I must get myself all perked up to counter this weird feeling of emptiness and lousiness.