What's up?

Life is really a challenge everyday.

As Ashlyn grows older she has a mind of her own and so there is this power struggle almost everyday. Till now it is still within my ability to handle. However, there were also days that I was already very tired and my abilty to handle her power struggles is not very good.

Hence, there were days that I shouted and did more to get her to listen to me. I hate myself for being like that. I really do. So now I am telling myself that when I feel myself losing control I have to move away, take a break or simply ask her to stop what she is doing and move away from me for a little while. In so doing, I can cool down and I will not be further irritated by her.

Then there is Averlyn. I guess she must be teething as she has been drooling non-stop and munching her fingers away. She also started to bite when she nursed and that truly hurt a lot. So, I think she could be feeling rather uncomfortable and hence she is not sleeping well in the day and also in the night. In other words, I get no sleep too.

So to prevent another bout of depression, I really have to let go of the idea that I am a superwoman. We decided to engage a part-time cleaner to help with the housework... my part of the housework.

Yippeee... we found one and the first session was two days ago. I am impressed with her ability to clean the common bathroom... I never thought that my bathroom can be so clean. In order to get it that clean, she spent quite some time cleaning it. So the master bedroom's bathroom have to wait till next week. Well, then there is the dusting...okay lah... she did wipe off the massive amount of dust collected on every surface...she did miss some spot but hey, it was her first time here. Overall, I am glad that I can put my feet down on my floor and walk!