God's Medication - 30 July 2007

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

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Was in church the day before and was reading through 'The Link' similar to a newsletter thingy we get every Sunday during service. There was an excerpt from Pastor Rony Tan's sermon and it really made me realised that I had been very very short-sighted.

It mentioned that do we have troubles? Do we have many troubles in our lives? The answer is positive. I have many troubles so much so that I am constantly stressing myself out.

However, it read ... of course you have troubles. Troubles are part of our life. It is not the troubles that are the problem. The problem is how we face our troubles. The attitude that we have when we are faced with these troubles.

Hey... that is true. Everywhere and every time, there will be trouble waiting for us. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed that I want to give up. I even questioned Him. I asked,"Why, Father? Why can't you let me have some peace? Why do I have so many problems that I need to solve all at the same time?"

Well, now I know the answer. I was too busy counting all the troubles and trying to solve them one at a time. However, I forgot to quieten myself and submit my life to Him and to ask Him to help me.

So, troubles are part of life, our attitude towards them will determine whether we can overcome them or be drowned by them.

____________________________________________________________________

Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Butter Cake

Two weeks ago, I baked a butter cake as Ash wanted to have it as lunch the next day at school before her P1 Prep Class.

I must say that I succeeded with my first try. Especially like the way the cake has a star on it.

God's Medication - 24 July 2004

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Luke 6:31

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This is really so true. We personally do not like it when other cheat us so why should we cheat others. Recently, there is this big squabble on two of the forums that I visit. It is about this particular lady who will buy things from other mothers and resell it again at a higher price or will get free items from other mothers than she sell it away. Then the most incredible thing was that she sold the expressed breast milk from donated by other mothers to a particular family in need. That was what made me jumping with anger. I happened to donate some of my precious milk to her.

After so many days of accusations flying in both forums, this lady sent an email stating that she did not do all those things and her name was made used by some other people. That is also a little impossible because everyone who was cheated by her all point to the same name, same emails, same hand phone number and the same person (because they ever met her before).

So from this particular incident, I have learnt that sometimes we may do things to others and feel nothing about it but if the table is turned, I don't think we will like it one bit. Not that I ever cheated anyone.

So whatever we say or do, there is a need to think before we leap.

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Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Luke 6:31

Botanical Gardens

Went to the Botanical Gardens yesterday afternoon in search of the tree that bloomed red flowers.

It was a nice walk in the garden. The last time were there was like three years ago when there was an orchid exhibition. Had always liked the place.

Hope that we can go there more often for a walk instead of the shopping centres.

These are the pictures that Ash took with her digital camera.

God's Medication - 19 July 2007, Thursday

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42:5-6

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Woke up this morning feeling rather down casted. Could be because I know that I would be alone to handle the children as husband has to go off earlier for a meeting. I don't blame him just feel that I am not so independent after all.

With this foul mood, I turned to His Words and the verse jumped out at me. Yes, why am I in a foul mood? What is it that made me feel so moody? Since I cannot understand why I was feeling so moody, why continue to wallow in it?

Really, it is time to lift my head up, put my hope in God and sing a praise out loud to him.

Instead of trying to find out why I am moody, I should look around me and find things to praise Him for.

Both my daughters are healthy. My husband has a job. I have a job. We have a wonderful home to stay in (but needs to throw out the clutter...) and many many wonderful things to thank Him for.

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Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42:5-6

God's medication for 18 July 2007

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you;

he will never let the righteous fall.

Psalm 55:22

Have been participating in a forum for mothers (http://www.moms4moms.info/sg/) and got to know some nice mothers. Through them, I learnt scrap booking, sewing and many more.

It is also there that I realised I am not alone facing the darkness of depression. I learnt to be stronger through their encouragements.

It is through the forum I got to know this lady who is facing difficulties in her daily live. She encouraged me when I was fighting my depressive mood. Now, it is my turn to help her. I had "talked" to her over the MSN messenger and realised that she is struggling.

Hence, I decided to start another topic "God's Medication". This will allow me to share with others what God had done for me. It is time for me to sow the seeds.

Many times, we tend to take things into our own hands. We want to achieve everything at the fastest time. We want to be the best in the neighbourhood. We want to be the ones praised by our bosses. However, these are the wants that will push us into the state of depression.

It boils down to not what we want but what God has planned for us. Hence, every time when we are struggling, take a deep breathe , close you eyes and pray. Tell Him your concerns, your needs, your fears and ask Him for guidance.

He may not answer directly but the answers will come. Be patient and be still then you will be able to hear His answers.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22

Holidays were over for 4 weeks...

and what was I busied with?

Actually, I have not gotten back into a proper routine yet. Kenny had a fake dengue fever scare three weeks ago and hence had a difficult time trying to cope with his up and down fever. I was also very worried as the doctors were not very prompt in getting the blood test results. Plus two doctors (of the same clinic) gave different diagnosis at the end. However, it lasted for one week and thereafter, he was better and I thought I could return to normal schedule.

Then the last week, Ash had a high fever and that went up and down for three to four days and coupled with diarrhoea. So everything went hay wired again.

So I had been rather busy.

There are many things that I want to do but really am feeling a bit lousy to do anything at all. I feel another bout of depression coming in again and I do not know what is the trigger.

Hopefully, by penning down the things that I need to do will help me keep more focused and hence kick that depression away.

Things to do:
1) Organise photographs for printing
2) Scrap booking project for Ash (from birth to now)
3) Scrap booking project for Aver
4) Edit videos... many of them
5) Sewing of dress for Ash
6) Sewing of quilt for Ash
7) Prepare picture flashcards for Aver


Okay, I do have a lot of things on hand to do but why do I feel so empty and useless? Something must be very wrong with me.

I had also made up my mind to curb our spending. I realised that we had been out shopping over the weekends and that really hurt out pockets. Hence, I told Superpig that weekends should be spent in parks, libraries and zoo. I must try to stay away from shopping centres. That should not be difficult as there are many projects to do with Ash while at home too.

Now, I must get myself all perked up to counter this weird feeling of emptiness and lousiness.

Holiday programme

Ash has started her school holiday since last week. We have four weeks to get into each other's nerves around the house. I planned a few activities that she could do during these four weeks to entertain herself.

In the first week, I bought some buttons so that she could make two buttons frames for her friends. She enjoyed that activity and I should say that the photo frames did turned out quite well.

Then for this week, we signed her up for cartoon sketching classes at the nearby community club. The course runs for 4 days. So in the mornings, Supering would send us to the community club before heading to work. Once Ash is safely in the class, I would head to Compass Point on the other side of the road with Aver. It was fun seeing Aver sitting in her pram and then without me noticing, she fell asleep.

Once at Compass Point, I would head for Burger King or MacDonald's for a drink and fries. Will sit there for almost an hour reading my book (will talk about this book later). Then once the time is up, I would head back across the road to pick Ash up for lunch then we head home. It was fun but also tiring. By Tuesday night, I was all worn out and ended up sleeping on the sofa while watching DVD with Superpig. By Wednesday, I was totally beaten. And on Thursday, I was all ready to salute those mums who sent their children to all the enrichment classes one after another.

As for Ash, she totally enjoyed the lessons. So I am also very pleased even though it tired me out. From another mum, I found out that there is usually this class during the holidays. So I would like to enrol her the next time.

Then today, was cupcakes day! I thought it would be a good challenge to bake some cupcakes and decorate it (which seems to be the in thing now). So after breakfast, off we went to the supermarket to buy all the necessary things. Late in the afternoon we started to work on the cupcakes.

The cupcakes looks okay but the icing melted too easily. I found out that the amount of butter played a part in how the icing turned out. So will go find out more and try the next time again.

While out buying the ingredients for the cupcakes, I was thinking how should I surprise Superpig. He already expected the cupcakes as his Father's Day gift. However, there is no fun with just that. So we went to buy the new Transformer Toy - Optimus ...something. It was on sale and I used the vouchers that I redeemed the other time so the whole thing was about 50% off the original price.

Superpig was sure surprised with the gift! Should see how happy he was with his toy. I was glad that I made that effort. Oh, it was also his birthday gift too.

Okay, now I move on to the book that I mentioned earlier. I decided that I want to try to read Chinese novel to relive those days that in secondary school whereby I did read those Taiwanese novels to improve my Chinese. So I borrowed one from the library, a story adapted from a Japanese drama. I am surprised that I understood almost 70% of what had been read and actually quite enjoyed it.

28 May 2007, Monday - Out on our own

Ash developed an unknown rash that does not itch the day before. She was not feverish too. That was the problem... a rash that we had no idea what it is. So off we went to the doctor's in a cab with Superpig. He was dropped off at his work place and then we were on our own.



The doctor could not determine what the rash was too. There was no fever and since her high fever was two weeks ago it could not be related. However, he can confirm that it was not a dengue rash so not to worry too much. Was told to sit and wait it out. Prescribed some medication and off we went.


Out of the clinic, then I realised that I need to go to the washroom. However, there was no way I could go with little Aver in my arms. So we went to the nursing room, I asked Ash to help me look after Aver lying on the changing table. However, knowing Ash has her moods, I thought it was not very safe. Saw a lady with her toddler in the room and asked her to help me look over them (a bit scared that she may grab the two and run away... but I prayed that the lady is not a crook) and then ran to relieve myself and ran back immediately. So from this experience, I realised the importance of the pram (which I have yet to learn how to use). However, if its only me and the two girls, I need to travel light, a pram will not allow me to take public transport easily unless it is the taxi (which is very expensive).

After the washroom excitement, it was to MacDonald's for brunch...yes...in the rush to get to the doctor's we did not eat anything. So it was time to fill up the tummy.

With our tummy filled it was shopping time! Bought two hand-knitted shrugs of the two girls. Had always wanted to knit for them but somehow knitting is not something that I managed to master... one day, I promise myself I will pick it up. Since I cannot knit then I had to pay to get what I want.

Once we were done at United Square, took a ride on the MRT to Newton to Ministry of Environment to find Mah Mah. Had a rest there before moving on to the next destination.

Next, hopped onto the MRT to Plaza Singapura. Needed to go to Spotlight to buy some buttons for Ash to do some holiday crafts. By the time, we finished at Spotlight, both Ash and myself were very tired. As for Aver, don't think she was much bothered as long as she had her milk and her sling snuggle in, she should be quite satisfied.

Since we were all tired, I thought we should go on straight home. However, dinner would be a problem as I was too tired to cook. Called Superpig and we arranged to meet at Compass Point for dinner. So off we went onto the MRT and to Sengkang we went.

We had a good dinner at Sakae Sushi... a good reward for myself as I managed to bring the two girls out on my own. A good reward for Ash as she behaved herself and helped me carry our goodies .

I succeeded!

in sewing a quilt for Averlyn.

It is not a perfect one because not every piece is sewed together accurately but still I managed to complete it!

I am so proud of myself.

What's up?

Life is really a challenge everyday.

As Ashlyn grows older she has a mind of her own and so there is this power struggle almost everyday. Till now it is still within my ability to handle. However, there were also days that I was already very tired and my abilty to handle her power struggles is not very good.

Hence, there were days that I shouted and did more to get her to listen to me. I hate myself for being like that. I really do. So now I am telling myself that when I feel myself losing control I have to move away, take a break or simply ask her to stop what she is doing and move away from me for a little while. In so doing, I can cool down and I will not be further irritated by her.

Then there is Averlyn. I guess she must be teething as she has been drooling non-stop and munching her fingers away. She also started to bite when she nursed and that truly hurt a lot. So, I think she could be feeling rather uncomfortable and hence she is not sleeping well in the day and also in the night. In other words, I get no sleep too.

So to prevent another bout of depression, I really have to let go of the idea that I am a superwoman. We decided to engage a part-time cleaner to help with the housework... my part of the housework.

Yippeee... we found one and the first session was two days ago. I am impressed with her ability to clean the common bathroom... I never thought that my bathroom can be so clean. In order to get it that clean, she spent quite some time cleaning it. So the master bedroom's bathroom have to wait till next week. Well, then there is the dusting...okay lah... she did wipe off the massive amount of dust collected on every surface...she did miss some spot but hey, it was her first time here. Overall, I am glad that I can put my feet down on my floor and walk!

Superpig is a ...

	Cheer Bear You're the Care Bear cheerleader! Your spunky personality and optimisim lifts everyone's spirit. Though you want everyone to be happy, you stand your ground on issues you feel strongly about and this can bring disunity among your friends. Despite this, you are a true believer in working together.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

My Projects

Last week I managed to complete two projects. It is really hard to find time to do my crafts ... haiz....

Here's the two scrapbook projects I completed.
Look at those chubby cheeks... and don't you think Averlyn looks just like her sister, excpet not as chubby?









Then I did this bib late Saturday night (21 April 2007).


Wishing for more time to get more done.

Averlyn's first swim

15 April 2007, Sunday... it was the first swim for Averlyn. Sadly, I was not able to join in as I was having my menses. So she was in the pool with Daddy, Ashlyn, cousins,,uncle (tua gu) and aunt (kim kim).

Averlyn cried quite a bit and refused to be carried by Superpig but was rather happy to be in the arms of kim kim. Superpig was kind of upset but I think it was because Averlyn did not really like his carpet chest.

Since I cannot join in, I took a lot of pictures of them playing in the pool.

I cannot wait for the next trip to the pool. I want to be swimming with my girls.

Interesting Character DNA

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First day of work - 21 March 2007, Wednesday

Went back to work two days ago.

Was very nervous as I had to ensure that I had enough expressed breast milk for Averlyn. So was trying very hard to express my milk on Tuesday and managed to expressed a total of 7.5 oz. Based on the calculation on a website, Averlyn would need about 2.5 oz to 3 oz each feed. So considering that I would be away for four hours, Averlyn should have enough. If she really doesn't, there was the frozen stash. Still, I was nervous. In the end, I was scolded by my mum and Superpig.

The conversation that transpired between the three of us:
"You still have the frozen milk! Why you worry so much?" said Superpig.
"It is better to have the one that was expressed 24 hour before than the frozen ones." I tried to explain.
Mum sat there, shaking her head.
"Then got so many frozen bags for what?" a rather impatient Superpig said.
Not wanting to lose in the battle, I retorted,"To make breast milk ice-cream for you to eat!"
"She wants to make ice-creams for you, so let her continue to freeze lah!" my cannot take it anymore Mum said.
Superpig gave up the battle...
So I won.

Anyway, I realised that those full time working mothers are really superwomen. The number of milk bottles I had to wash and also to sterilise before I set off to work was no fun. Although, I only had to prepare 4 bottles and a pair of pump, I still find that that was a lot of work. Then, I had to squeeze my pump machine, the pump, bottles, cooler bag and ice block into my bag. In the end, my bag was bulging and unable to be zipped up.

So off I went to work along with Superpig and Ashlyn, leaving Averlyn in the care of my mum. At least, she did no cry when she saw me left.

In my absence, Averlyn did cry a little and it was because she was tired. She managed to catch a little nap but was awoken by my phone call home. She had no problem drinking the expressed milk from the milk bottle. She drank 2.5 oz with a little coaxing from my mum. She drank and drifted off to sleep so my mum said it was not too bad afterall. At around 4p.m., she took another 2.5 0z and drifted off to sleep. She woke up not long after when we (Superpig and myself) came home. She woke up and started looking for me, her eyes following wherever I went.

So the day went quite well in Averlyn's area. However, in my owm area it was not too well. I was already having a little flu but by evening, my flu got very bad. So I had to request for a day of MC from Superpig the next day. Yes, stay-at-home-mum also need medical leave...

Thank you Superpig for staying home to work so that I had ample rest.

My projects for this year

Okay, to ensure that I do not forget the many things that I want to embark on doing, I better pen it down here. So if you are eading this, try to ask me once in a while how my projects are coming along...okay?

1) Scrapbook Ashlyn's growth since birth
2) Scrapbook Averlyn's growth since births
3) Scrapbook special events that happened
4) Scrapbook monthly about our lives and activities
5) Continue with my cross-stitching
6) Making of tissue holders
7) Blogging for Ashlyn
8) Blogging for Averlyn
9) Blogging for myself
10) Work (BLAH!)

My digital scrapbooking challenge

Yes... I finally decided to do a challenge and see how I fare. Of course, compared with those advance scrapbookers, there is still a lot of catching up to do. But, if I don't give it a try I would not know how to improve on my scrapbooking projects right?



So here is the project for the sketch challenge.



So how does it look? My own comments? I love it. Thank goodness I have two girls so I can use all the pink and purple that I like. :)

Today's project

Thought I should make a digital scrapbook album for Ashlyn showing her growth since her birth. Then it can go well with her blog.

Here's the first page:

Averlyn's blog

Okay, today I decided to start a blog for Averlyn. In this blog it will be all about Averlyn and her antics. Sad to say, I do not have that much time to create a website for her like I had done for Ashlyn so the next best thing is a blog.

And as for Ashlyn's website, think it is time for me to transfer everything to her own blog too. The website is encountering some problems and due to lack of time, I was not able to create more pages after she turned 3 years old.

I know I am not a superb mother but hey... I am not superwoman too.

The next step... Ashlyn's blog!