God's medication for 18 July 2007

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you;

he will never let the righteous fall.

Psalm 55:22

Have been participating in a forum for mothers (http://www.moms4moms.info/sg/) and got to know some nice mothers. Through them, I learnt scrap booking, sewing and many more.

It is also there that I realised I am not alone facing the darkness of depression. I learnt to be stronger through their encouragements.

It is through the forum I got to know this lady who is facing difficulties in her daily live. She encouraged me when I was fighting my depressive mood. Now, it is my turn to help her. I had "talked" to her over the MSN messenger and realised that she is struggling.

Hence, I decided to start another topic "God's Medication". This will allow me to share with others what God had done for me. It is time for me to sow the seeds.

Many times, we tend to take things into our own hands. We want to achieve everything at the fastest time. We want to be the best in the neighbourhood. We want to be the ones praised by our bosses. However, these are the wants that will push us into the state of depression.

It boils down to not what we want but what God has planned for us. Hence, every time when we are struggling, take a deep breathe , close you eyes and pray. Tell Him your concerns, your needs, your fears and ask Him for guidance.

He may not answer directly but the answers will come. Be patient and be still then you will be able to hear His answers.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22

Holidays were over for 4 weeks...

and what was I busied with?

Actually, I have not gotten back into a proper routine yet. Kenny had a fake dengue fever scare three weeks ago and hence had a difficult time trying to cope with his up and down fever. I was also very worried as the doctors were not very prompt in getting the blood test results. Plus two doctors (of the same clinic) gave different diagnosis at the end. However, it lasted for one week and thereafter, he was better and I thought I could return to normal schedule.

Then the last week, Ash had a high fever and that went up and down for three to four days and coupled with diarrhoea. So everything went hay wired again.

So I had been rather busy.

There are many things that I want to do but really am feeling a bit lousy to do anything at all. I feel another bout of depression coming in again and I do not know what is the trigger.

Hopefully, by penning down the things that I need to do will help me keep more focused and hence kick that depression away.

Things to do:
1) Organise photographs for printing
2) Scrap booking project for Ash (from birth to now)
3) Scrap booking project for Aver
4) Edit videos... many of them
5) Sewing of dress for Ash
6) Sewing of quilt for Ash
7) Prepare picture flashcards for Aver


Okay, I do have a lot of things on hand to do but why do I feel so empty and useless? Something must be very wrong with me.

I had also made up my mind to curb our spending. I realised that we had been out shopping over the weekends and that really hurt out pockets. Hence, I told Superpig that weekends should be spent in parks, libraries and zoo. I must try to stay away from shopping centres. That should not be difficult as there are many projects to do with Ash while at home too.

Now, I must get myself all perked up to counter this weird feeling of emptiness and lousiness.

Holiday programme

Ash has started her school holiday since last week. We have four weeks to get into each other's nerves around the house. I planned a few activities that she could do during these four weeks to entertain herself.

In the first week, I bought some buttons so that she could make two buttons frames for her friends. She enjoyed that activity and I should say that the photo frames did turned out quite well.

Then for this week, we signed her up for cartoon sketching classes at the nearby community club. The course runs for 4 days. So in the mornings, Supering would send us to the community club before heading to work. Once Ash is safely in the class, I would head to Compass Point on the other side of the road with Aver. It was fun seeing Aver sitting in her pram and then without me noticing, she fell asleep.

Once at Compass Point, I would head for Burger King or MacDonald's for a drink and fries. Will sit there for almost an hour reading my book (will talk about this book later). Then once the time is up, I would head back across the road to pick Ash up for lunch then we head home. It was fun but also tiring. By Tuesday night, I was all worn out and ended up sleeping on the sofa while watching DVD with Superpig. By Wednesday, I was totally beaten. And on Thursday, I was all ready to salute those mums who sent their children to all the enrichment classes one after another.

As for Ash, she totally enjoyed the lessons. So I am also very pleased even though it tired me out. From another mum, I found out that there is usually this class during the holidays. So I would like to enrol her the next time.

Then today, was cupcakes day! I thought it would be a good challenge to bake some cupcakes and decorate it (which seems to be the in thing now). So after breakfast, off we went to the supermarket to buy all the necessary things. Late in the afternoon we started to work on the cupcakes.

The cupcakes looks okay but the icing melted too easily. I found out that the amount of butter played a part in how the icing turned out. So will go find out more and try the next time again.

While out buying the ingredients for the cupcakes, I was thinking how should I surprise Superpig. He already expected the cupcakes as his Father's Day gift. However, there is no fun with just that. So we went to buy the new Transformer Toy - Optimus ...something. It was on sale and I used the vouchers that I redeemed the other time so the whole thing was about 50% off the original price.

Superpig was sure surprised with the gift! Should see how happy he was with his toy. I was glad that I made that effort. Oh, it was also his birthday gift too.

Okay, now I move on to the book that I mentioned earlier. I decided that I want to try to read Chinese novel to relive those days that in secondary school whereby I did read those Taiwanese novels to improve my Chinese. So I borrowed one from the library, a story adapted from a Japanese drama. I am surprised that I understood almost 70% of what had been read and actually quite enjoyed it.

28 May 2007, Monday - Out on our own

Ash developed an unknown rash that does not itch the day before. She was not feverish too. That was the problem... a rash that we had no idea what it is. So off we went to the doctor's in a cab with Superpig. He was dropped off at his work place and then we were on our own.



The doctor could not determine what the rash was too. There was no fever and since her high fever was two weeks ago it could not be related. However, he can confirm that it was not a dengue rash so not to worry too much. Was told to sit and wait it out. Prescribed some medication and off we went.


Out of the clinic, then I realised that I need to go to the washroom. However, there was no way I could go with little Aver in my arms. So we went to the nursing room, I asked Ash to help me look after Aver lying on the changing table. However, knowing Ash has her moods, I thought it was not very safe. Saw a lady with her toddler in the room and asked her to help me look over them (a bit scared that she may grab the two and run away... but I prayed that the lady is not a crook) and then ran to relieve myself and ran back immediately. So from this experience, I realised the importance of the pram (which I have yet to learn how to use). However, if its only me and the two girls, I need to travel light, a pram will not allow me to take public transport easily unless it is the taxi (which is very expensive).

After the washroom excitement, it was to MacDonald's for brunch...yes...in the rush to get to the doctor's we did not eat anything. So it was time to fill up the tummy.

With our tummy filled it was shopping time! Bought two hand-knitted shrugs of the two girls. Had always wanted to knit for them but somehow knitting is not something that I managed to master... one day, I promise myself I will pick it up. Since I cannot knit then I had to pay to get what I want.

Once we were done at United Square, took a ride on the MRT to Newton to Ministry of Environment to find Mah Mah. Had a rest there before moving on to the next destination.

Next, hopped onto the MRT to Plaza Singapura. Needed to go to Spotlight to buy some buttons for Ash to do some holiday crafts. By the time, we finished at Spotlight, both Ash and myself were very tired. As for Aver, don't think she was much bothered as long as she had her milk and her sling snuggle in, she should be quite satisfied.

Since we were all tired, I thought we should go on straight home. However, dinner would be a problem as I was too tired to cook. Called Superpig and we arranged to meet at Compass Point for dinner. So off we went onto the MRT and to Sengkang we went.

We had a good dinner at Sakae Sushi... a good reward for myself as I managed to bring the two girls out on my own. A good reward for Ash as she behaved herself and helped me carry our goodies .

I succeeded!

in sewing a quilt for Averlyn.

It is not a perfect one because not every piece is sewed together accurately but still I managed to complete it!

I am so proud of myself.

What's up?

Life is really a challenge everyday.

As Ashlyn grows older she has a mind of her own and so there is this power struggle almost everyday. Till now it is still within my ability to handle. However, there were also days that I was already very tired and my abilty to handle her power struggles is not very good.

Hence, there were days that I shouted and did more to get her to listen to me. I hate myself for being like that. I really do. So now I am telling myself that when I feel myself losing control I have to move away, take a break or simply ask her to stop what she is doing and move away from me for a little while. In so doing, I can cool down and I will not be further irritated by her.

Then there is Averlyn. I guess she must be teething as she has been drooling non-stop and munching her fingers away. She also started to bite when she nursed and that truly hurt a lot. So, I think she could be feeling rather uncomfortable and hence she is not sleeping well in the day and also in the night. In other words, I get no sleep too.

So to prevent another bout of depression, I really have to let go of the idea that I am a superwoman. We decided to engage a part-time cleaner to help with the housework... my part of the housework.

Yippeee... we found one and the first session was two days ago. I am impressed with her ability to clean the common bathroom... I never thought that my bathroom can be so clean. In order to get it that clean, she spent quite some time cleaning it. So the master bedroom's bathroom have to wait till next week. Well, then there is the dusting...okay lah... she did wipe off the massive amount of dust collected on every surface...she did miss some spot but hey, it was her first time here. Overall, I am glad that I can put my feet down on my floor and walk!

Superpig is a ...

	Cheer Bear You're the Care Bear cheerleader! Your spunky personality and optimisim lifts everyone's spirit. Though you want everyone to be happy, you stand your ground on issues you feel strongly about and this can bring disunity among your friends. Despite this, you are a true believer in working together.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

My Projects

Last week I managed to complete two projects. It is really hard to find time to do my crafts ... haiz....

Here's the two scrapbook projects I completed.
Look at those chubby cheeks... and don't you think Averlyn looks just like her sister, excpet not as chubby?









Then I did this bib late Saturday night (21 April 2007).


Wishing for more time to get more done.

Averlyn's first swim

15 April 2007, Sunday... it was the first swim for Averlyn. Sadly, I was not able to join in as I was having my menses. So she was in the pool with Daddy, Ashlyn, cousins,,uncle (tua gu) and aunt (kim kim).

Averlyn cried quite a bit and refused to be carried by Superpig but was rather happy to be in the arms of kim kim. Superpig was kind of upset but I think it was because Averlyn did not really like his carpet chest.

Since I cannot join in, I took a lot of pictures of them playing in the pool.

I cannot wait for the next trip to the pool. I want to be swimming with my girls.

Interesting Character DNA

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First day of work - 21 March 2007, Wednesday

Went back to work two days ago.

Was very nervous as I had to ensure that I had enough expressed breast milk for Averlyn. So was trying very hard to express my milk on Tuesday and managed to expressed a total of 7.5 oz. Based on the calculation on a website, Averlyn would need about 2.5 oz to 3 oz each feed. So considering that I would be away for four hours, Averlyn should have enough. If she really doesn't, there was the frozen stash. Still, I was nervous. In the end, I was scolded by my mum and Superpig.

The conversation that transpired between the three of us:
"You still have the frozen milk! Why you worry so much?" said Superpig.
"It is better to have the one that was expressed 24 hour before than the frozen ones." I tried to explain.
Mum sat there, shaking her head.
"Then got so many frozen bags for what?" a rather impatient Superpig said.
Not wanting to lose in the battle, I retorted,"To make breast milk ice-cream for you to eat!"
"She wants to make ice-creams for you, so let her continue to freeze lah!" my cannot take it anymore Mum said.
Superpig gave up the battle...
So I won.

Anyway, I realised that those full time working mothers are really superwomen. The number of milk bottles I had to wash and also to sterilise before I set off to work was no fun. Although, I only had to prepare 4 bottles and a pair of pump, I still find that that was a lot of work. Then, I had to squeeze my pump machine, the pump, bottles, cooler bag and ice block into my bag. In the end, my bag was bulging and unable to be zipped up.

So off I went to work along with Superpig and Ashlyn, leaving Averlyn in the care of my mum. At least, she did no cry when she saw me left.

In my absence, Averlyn did cry a little and it was because she was tired. She managed to catch a little nap but was awoken by my phone call home. She had no problem drinking the expressed milk from the milk bottle. She drank 2.5 oz with a little coaxing from my mum. She drank and drifted off to sleep so my mum said it was not too bad afterall. At around 4p.m., she took another 2.5 0z and drifted off to sleep. She woke up not long after when we (Superpig and myself) came home. She woke up and started looking for me, her eyes following wherever I went.

So the day went quite well in Averlyn's area. However, in my owm area it was not too well. I was already having a little flu but by evening, my flu got very bad. So I had to request for a day of MC from Superpig the next day. Yes, stay-at-home-mum also need medical leave...

Thank you Superpig for staying home to work so that I had ample rest.

My projects for this year

Okay, to ensure that I do not forget the many things that I want to embark on doing, I better pen it down here. So if you are eading this, try to ask me once in a while how my projects are coming along...okay?

1) Scrapbook Ashlyn's growth since birth
2) Scrapbook Averlyn's growth since births
3) Scrapbook special events that happened
4) Scrapbook monthly about our lives and activities
5) Continue with my cross-stitching
6) Making of tissue holders
7) Blogging for Ashlyn
8) Blogging for Averlyn
9) Blogging for myself
10) Work (BLAH!)

My digital scrapbooking challenge

Yes... I finally decided to do a challenge and see how I fare. Of course, compared with those advance scrapbookers, there is still a lot of catching up to do. But, if I don't give it a try I would not know how to improve on my scrapbooking projects right?



So here is the project for the sketch challenge.



So how does it look? My own comments? I love it. Thank goodness I have two girls so I can use all the pink and purple that I like. :)

Today's project

Thought I should make a digital scrapbook album for Ashlyn showing her growth since her birth. Then it can go well with her blog.

Here's the first page:

Averlyn's blog

Okay, today I decided to start a blog for Averlyn. In this blog it will be all about Averlyn and her antics. Sad to say, I do not have that much time to create a website for her like I had done for Ashlyn so the next best thing is a blog.

And as for Ashlyn's website, think it is time for me to transfer everything to her own blog too. The website is encountering some problems and due to lack of time, I was not able to create more pages after she turned 3 years old.

I know I am not a superb mother but hey... I am not superwoman too.

The next step... Ashlyn's blog!

Today's project

Yes, I finally managed to find a little time to do this scrapbooking project. Has been itching to do it but got no time.

Earthquakes in Sumatra

Yesterday was the first time in my life that I encounter tremors at my house. I had always heard people around me saying that they had experienced tremors when there were earthquakes in Indonesia and had always wondered what it felt like.

So I felt it twice yesterday at home. The first time was at 1155 a.m. while I picked Averlyn out of her playpen as she wanted to be carried. At that time her playpen was shaking and the glass doors of the display cabinet were shaking too. I thought it was because I was shaking the playpen and hence it knocked against the glass doors. I quickly took a step away and the playpen and glass doors were still shaking. I took a look at the lundry rack and saw that it was also swaying. At that same time, I ws feeling giddy. Fearing that I may faint and drop Averlyn from my arms, I made my way to the sofa. Then it occurred to me that it could be due to an earthquake.

I was in a forum chat and spotted a topic which highlighted that they also felt the tremors. Then I realised that I was right and that was how it felt to be swaying in a high-rise flat, all the way up on sixteenth floor. Sure was giddy.

Considering that Averlyn's playpen was right beside the display cabinet, I decided that I would let her sleep on the sofa beside me. So for the rest of the time, I sat on the sofa working on my laptop with Averlyn beside me.

After two hours or so I felt giddy again. Saw that the sofa I was sitting on seemed to be swaying. Took a look out of the window and realised that the flat was really swaying. Then Averlyn woke up crying. Immediately called Kenny and reported to him about the second tremor. His reply," Aiyah! Not there to experience it. What a waste." .... duh! I am scared out of my wits and that was his reply.

Then after that I have this nagging giddiness that didn't seemed to go away. There was also this nagging fear of another tremor.

My Valentine's Day

Boring! Yes... that is because my dearest husband was away on reservist. Although he came back as early as 3p.m. but he was dead tired. So for the rest of the day I was facing a rather grouchy man. So much for Valentine's Day.



At least we did not stay home and get into each other's nerves. Ashlyn had art lesson so that gave us an excuse to get out of the house. So Valentine's Day dinner was... MacDonalds.



Due to budget, there was no gift for each other. No flowers too. However, I managed to do this for him and for the two princesses.

A Bad Fall

On Saturady morninng (3 Feb 07), Ashlyn tripped over her own shoes and fell. It was a very bad fall.

She fell right beside me and at the moment I wanted to help her up and consoled her but I could not. I was helpless. In my arms was Averlyn and hence there was no way I could pick Ashlyn up at all. My heart hurt everytime I think of it. I realised that it is not easy to be a parent to more than one kid. I miss the time I had with Ashlyn only. I missed the closeness that we had. Now, she will look for her Daddy more than me.

I cannot blame her. Averlyn is a very sticky baby and she sticks to me. Everytime Ashlyn looks at me, Averlyn will be in my arms. I can feel her lost too.

Despite this, Ashlyn has been a great sister to Averlyn. She will help me watch over her while I get some stuff done around the house. She enjoys giving her little sister hugs and kisses. It warms me everytime she does that.

On top of all these, Ashlyn will comfort me when I breakdown after a long and tiring time with Averlyn. She will always say," Mummy, babies are like that. You cannot get angry. Don't cry, okay? I call Daddy?"

My life for the past week

I managed to survive the week alone with my two darlings. I must say that it can be rather hectic around the house.

Every morning, I have to wake up as early as 6.30, right after Averlyn's last feed, to have a quick shower and prepare the raw food needed for lunch and dinner. Once that is done, it will be getting Ashlyn out of bed so that I can give her a shower. Don't think it will be a good idea for Kenny to shower her anymore. After that, it is bathing time for Averlyn.

Before I give Averlyn her bath, I must first get Ashlyn's breakfast ready. After the bath, it will be feeding time for Averlyn while Ashlyn do her work.

Where is Kenny all this while? Sometimes, I allow him to sleep a little later. Sometimes, I get him to do the bathing for Averlyn while I give Ashlyn a shower.

The good thing is that I do not have to send Ashlyn to school. Kenny does that for me at 11 a.m. so that is one burden off my shoulders. During the 3 hours that Ashlyn is in school, I will be at home with Averlyn but she is one tough baby. She doesn't like to sleep in her playpen but preferred to be carried. So I will carry her in one arm while the other hand is typing away on my computer. No... I am not surfing the net, I am working at the same time.

At 2.15 p.m., I will pack Averlyn into the sling and make our way to Ashlyn's school to pick her up. Once home, we will have lunch and off Ashlyn goes to have a nap. This is the time where I will continue working and also continue carrying Averlyn.

My other digital scrapbooking projects

Here are the others that I had done.

I am still around

Have not beem blogginf for a long long time. That is because I had been quite caught up in my work, my pregnacy and my daughter.

Now, I have already given birth to my second daughter, Averlyn. She will be turning 4 weeks old tomorrow. Life with a newborn and a very active 5 year old can be quite hectic at home. I can only say that I am thankful that my mother is here for me while I am in confinement. However, on 16 Jan 2007, the day that marks the end of my confinement, it also marks the end of my mother's help. She will not be her 6 days 24 hours but has other plans. Of course, I cannot selfishly make her remain here to help me. She is a woman who needs to go out and work and roam around. Confining her to the house can reallt drive her nuts.

So from next week onwards, I have to learn to adapt and schedule everything to ensure that the household runs properly. I am not asking for perfection, which it almost impossible, but only wish that things get done and all.

At this very moment, I picked up another new hobby...Scrapbooking. I had always loved the way people had scrapbooked and had wanted to give it a try but looking at the massive equipments and the things needed, I really thought twice... actually many times. Anyway, Kenny had also commented that he will not support this hobby as the expenses will be high and the storeroom is overwhelmed by my craft things. So I just looked and admired other people's work.

Until I chanced upon a website, which was introduced be a mother on a forum. It brought me to the world of digital scrapbooking. Hey... the catch here is that it is digital and I do not have to buy anything to store up at home. Everything is stored in my computer. Since, I have got a new system for myself in the last few months, I can use it effectively for digital scrapbooking.

So I started on 10 Jan 2007 and I am totally hooked on it. I have done two layouts so far and I must say... they may not be fabulous but they still look nice enough. Take a look and see for yourself.

i have to learn never to trust people

Again and again I can never learn this hard lesson. I always tell myself that I have to give everyone the benefit of te doubt. Be nice to the people and they will in turn be nice to you.

Whatever it is, I always tell myself I cannot be mean to the people around me or the people I work with. However, whenever I do that somehow I am always the one that get hurt.

Like the most recent incident... thought I have been a good colleague and "friend" to the IT trainer in the school. He is not an experienced trainer and he always have problems with his lessons. I alwyas helped him by giving him advices and all. I even helped him come up with the notes for his lesson.


In the end, when questioned by the HOD, he lied about his work ethic and also dare to try to frame me. Thank goodness, I have had a good working relations with the HOD and we are friends in private. So she knows what kind of person I am and what kind of worker I am.

After knowing that I have to be in charge of them... two trainers and the technical assistant, he was not happy. Cos' he had always thought that he was the person in-charge of that portion of the department. So he was not the least happy and started to spread rumors about me in the staffroom.

Sad to say, not everyone know me well enough. So much so that i do feel a bit of the coldness in the staffroom nowadays. The receptionist who had been around of donkeys years had had always been very nice and friendly towards me... now she turn a cold shoulder on me.. why? cos of the rumours that that man had spreaded


I am upset, of course... and angry but at least he is gone and I will not have to work with him anymore. As for those people that decided to believe that gossip monger... well, I cannot waste my time to be bothered about them. I did not do anything wrong and had been performing my duties and job well.


If they want to talk behind my back... go ahead. If they want to be cold and distance... so be it. I am happy being me and will not change to suit them or so that they can like me.

So many things have happened since the last update

Yup... my preganancy is going on well so far. I am into the three and a half months into the pregnancy. Everything seems to be fine except that in the mornings I get morning sickness. At the same time, I have very weird kinds of food cravings...I carve for cuttlefish, satays, burger king's mushroom swiss and many many more.

As for work, I am still up to my neck with it. But still for the fact that I am having a second child I must work hard to earn the money.

Then for my piano lessons, going well too. Ashlyn's one also doing quite well. We had withdrawn her from the music school and found a very very good private piano teacher. So for the fact that we have put in so much effort for her and myself, we decided to buy a piano.

So the piano is here today and I had my first practise session on it already. Not too bad but it can be tiring for my ever so delicate fingers.

10 weeks pregnant

Will be going to the gynae tomorrow for the second check-up. Hopefully everything is fine. Has been praying every night to ensure the baby is growing well.

As for me, I am still going through the morning sickness and sleppless nights. Yes, I have been waking up at 3 in the morning and then not able to get back to sleep. I do not know why and have no idea how to solve the problem. Had even tried to skip my naps in the afternoons but that did not help either. I only feel very tired at night and grouchy cos' I'll be nursing my terrible headaches.


As for work, as much as I can I stay home and do them. Cannot really take the journey to school. Will end up like a zombie the moment I reach school as I have terrible motion sickness!!!

However, I believe all these will pass with my continuous prayers.

PSP!!! Mine!!!

I've got the white sony PSP! Just bought it yesterday and will be sharing it with my daughter and grudging my beloved PIG!


But still I am glad to have it... cos' now i can play my bubble puzzle in the living room and watch tv on those days my beloved PIG goes online gaming in the room.


Of cos' other features in the PSP are equally attractive and will slowly explore it when I get some FREE TIME!!!

For now, I will just have to be contented with playing my Bubble Puzzle!


And Ashlyn saw it this evening, as it was lying on my pillow, and she took the liberty to "play" with it! However, I told her unless she behaves herself and also perform well in her "homework" then I will let her play during the weekend. I have let her learn the art of responsibility. Now I remember... I better get a award chart out and start charting her "rewards" for all the good behaviour and her excellent"homework". With a certain accumulation of "rewards" in the week then she can get to play the PSP.


Got it ... better start it soon.

Busy Bee

I am now deep in my work... its piling up to my waist and I am still at a lost how to get it all done in the limted time I have in school...


Due to the fact that MOE does not pay adjunct teachers during school holidays, I ahve to clock in those hours that I put in during the holidays during term time. So for June holidays, I will be working approximately for 120 hours or more. Then there are the Saturdays... So the amount of time I stay in school to work is about 5 hours each day and that is not enough to finish all my jobs!

Ashlyn's website got cancelled

I am very upset... the amount of time i had put in for the last few years for her website had been down the drain. I just visted the website today and relised that the data is too big and requries me to purchase the bigger plan to allow the data transfer.

I hope later I can go back again and try to print out all those that were left over and restart again!

My baking experience...

So far I have been rather adventurous... have been trying out new recipes. Just Monday, Kenny mentioned something about cream puffs and I went to the net to find the recipe. Looked at the instructions and relised that it was rather simple.


So I made chocolate eggnog puffs on Monday night. Then the night before I made another batch but just plain eggnog puffs. I am rather surprised by the outcome.

Normally I will not eat what I had cooked. I do not know why... after getting the food done and edible I will simply stare at it and watch Kenny and Ashlyn eat. Seeing them eat is enough and most of the time I do not know how my food tasted like. However, this time round, I ate my own eggnog puffs and was totally impressed by it.


I know one thing for sure, I am enjoying every bit of the cooking part now and also my time to do my crafts......

Oh... and i just a recipe book for the different kinds of bread.. will be trying the yam bread soon...

Piano Lessons confirmed

I did mention about signing up for piano lessons and this time I did it. After finding out the lesson schedule and the fees, along with discussing with Kenny, I went to sign up for lessons.

Reasons for taking it up at this age?
1. Have always wanted to take piano lessons since young but due to financial reasons was not able to.
2. To be more confident in teaching Ashlyn her piano too. (Want to be a good example to her... she was also very happy that I signed up for lessons!)
3. Bored with my life... bored in the sense that there isn't any challenges for me. Since I quit full time teaching, there seems to be nothing to work for. In my current position, no matter how hard I work and how good I am, I still earn the same amount with no promotions, increment, performance bonus and so on. So I need to look within myself and see what I want to achieve and go and do it.
4. Maybe if I am good at it, I can start making music???(ha ha ha... like real. If Pig reads this, he will be shaking his head vigorously!)


I am trying very hard to focus my attention to other things so that I will not get agitated by all the little things around me. Like I said my mood have been very bad. I am easily angered and when I do, I go crazy. I desperately needs to get out of the situation. Othere than focusing on God and His healing powers and promises, I cannot sit around and wait for Him. Cos' I always believe that He has a plan and by sitting around the His plan does not have a chance to work out at all.

What's up?

Nothing much.. having working on my lesson plans for next term's digital art.

Also trying my hands at cooking...
Tried...
1. swiss rolls (not a pretty sight and too sweet)
2. hor fan (Kenny and Ashlyn commented that it was good)
3. kimchi (in the process of preservation.. so not sure how it will turn out)




And I also nade a few tissue holders...

Will be going to sign up of piano lessons for myself soon

My personal goal today

Guess my mood have not been very uplifting lately. Seems that everything is frustrating me.

So I choose to live a day at a time and aim to make my day a better day than the one before.

Today's goals
1. To take an hour to two hours rest in the afternoon
2. Cook a very simple dinner
3. Be positive when talking to Ashlyn
4. Do not get agitated with Ashlyn (for whatever reason)
5. Smile!

Haven't been working...

That's because Ashlyn wan down with the Viral Fever that was spreading like wild fire in her school. She had fever on Sunday night (26th Feb) and it rose to 40 degrees by 5 in the morning. Not forgetting that Kenny was not around as he had reservist.

I handled her all by myself through the night, brought her to the doctor's but there her fever miraculously disappeared. Took the day off to take care of her. In the afternoon her fever came back and Kenny also came back! He was given a day off due to his empress dowager's fever.

Thought everything was well by Monday night but... her fever came back at 9pm and again it soared to the 40s in the early hours of 5am. I thought I should bring her down to the doctor's again but like the day before, by 8am, her fever had miraculously disappeared.


Again thought that she should be able to return to school on Wednesday but then she started to have runny nose. She had a hard time sleeping and of course, me too.

By Thursday morning, her runny nose got worse and thank goodness Kenny had finished his stint with the National Army. So thought we should pop in to the doc's to buy some medicine but then he decided to let him have a look at him.

Once in the clinc, the receptionist response was,"The two of you ...again?" Don't think she was trying to be rude but that is quite true. For the past few weeks, we rotated in visiting the clinic. So think the doc must be sick and tired of seeing us already.

Then we kept her off school for the ret of the week cos' not sure how the situation with the viral fever is at school.

As for today, Monday... I am not at work... needed a good rest after last week.

Shhhhhhhhhh... don't let anyone in the school know...

So Far So Good

Well, Kenny has been off to Reservist... to protect the country (that's what we tell Ashlyn). So I have been handling work, housework and Ashlyn all by myself. So far so good. Can be a little tiring but Ashlyn had been cooperative.

She has been a rather good girl and did not whine as much as before and that will makes things a lot easier. On top of that she is not a choosy eater so dinner has been quite a breeze. A simple dinner can comprise of rice, steamed fish and a veggie. So all the frozen food taken out the night before to thaw in the lower half of the fridge makes life a little easier.


The only thing I can complain about is the cab fare. Today's cab fare comes up to$20.30! Call cab = $4 (cos its peak hours) ERP charges = $3 Peak hours charge = $1. So in the end all the extras comes up to more than half of the actual cab fare...

Why need to take cab? Cos need to send Ashlyn to school mah... quite impossible to get her out of bed real early, like 6.30 am and then rush for the train at 7.00 am so that she can reach school by 8.00am for breakfast, right???

A few more days to go and then we are back to normal again...

Days in a blur

Last Thursday, Ashlyn came down with a terrible fever. We were supposed to go watch a concert but decided that we cannot put her at risk. Instead, brought her to the doctor and then went on home to sleep.

In the middle of the night, she woke up crying that her throat hurt. Her fever did not subside despite the medicine. I had to sponge her down in the hope of keeping her fever down. Then we had to stay home on Friday to ensure that she got enough rest.

Then for the rest of Friday, we stayed home. Ashlyn's fever went up and then down and up and up and down and up and up and up... u've got the idea. By evening, she developed fever rash and she refused to swallow her saliva. Went to the doc again and was given antibiotic.

Over the weekend, she slowly recoverd. But now... I am sick! AGAIN!!!

My throat hurts and my ears hurt and now my head is spinning.

It doesn't help that Kenny is on reservist today onwards for the next ten days! So I will be taking care of everything by myself! Wish me luck.

Valentine's Day

To all who are reading this...


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!


Okay... the day started with anticipation for my durians to be delivered to school. Yes... durians! Mr Kenny Tan told me so... hence I know I have to wait in school for the durians to arrive.


Ha! Think I so stupid... at around 9 something in the morning, my "durians" arrived at the school office. I was at the computer lab having digital art training. People came up to the lab to inform me about it...


Finally, after my art lesson went down to the staff room and collected my "durians". Really nice ones too.

Still on MC

I have been on MC for a total of two weeks. From body ache to flu, then to bronchitis scare (phlegm in the airways...moving down to the lungs) and after that cold sores on my nose which flared up during the Chinese New Year period.

I went a round visiting with a rotting nose... imagine how wonder I look!

Not the least happy about it and the CNY visiting also wore out my already beaten body.

Hopefully by Sunday the sores will clear up and I can resume my work. (Not that I am looking forward to it... too many things piling up... Thought I am a part-timer??? Should not be stress, right??)

Anyway, for those reading this... GONG XI FA CAI!

What is love?

Does love just die off by itself after a couple is together for a long period of time? I really wonder... I do...

Come to think of how Kenny had been cold and distant from me for the past dew weeks ... I do feel very very down.

I know he is busy at work but he will still talk to me and all before. But recently he had went all quiet and refused to share anything in his head. The best thing is that I can see his gears in his head moving and tried to get him to talk but he will always insist that there is nothing.

He gets moody more often and then he refuses to talk.

Sick!

Have been sick since Monday... yesterday finally went to the Doc cos was running a very high fever. So I am given MC till Friday. In other words I do not have income for this whole week.

Don't know what is really wrong with me. On Monday, I was aching all over and thought it was because I tired myself out the night before when we went to Chinatown. The body ache did not get any better on Tuesday so remained at home to continue my rest. By the late afternoon, I started to sneeze (thot it was all the dust fromt he magazines that I was clearing out). Turned out that I started to have a flu. By Tuesday night, I started to develop a very very mild fever.


Wednesday, thought real hard whether to go to work but my body ache was getting from bad to worse and my flu was coming on full force. Stayed home again and thank goodness I did because by 2pm I started to feel very very cold. My feet and hands were cold. Wanted to see the Doc but was too weak to go by myself. Didn't dare tell Kenny as he was busy in the office due to the take over. I gritted my teeth and shivered till they returned home.


Went to the Doc, nice guy too, was told to be careful cos' recently many people were down will stomach flu. Gave me all the necessary medicine and a good MC covering me from Monday to Friday (this week).


Think those people in school must be hopping mad ... but really I am totally exhausted just within 3 weeks of school.

Too busy for words!

Yup! That's what I had been up to... too busy. I do not even know what I was busy with... I am still busy though. Thought that by quitting my job I will have more time on my hand to explore my life and get in touch with my daughter???


Guess I was wrong.


Still, I think everything can be worked out. I need to be better at planning my time and at the same time learn how to say NO to the people in school when they ask me to go fro relief classes. I already up to my neck with my IT lessons and the E-learning stuff where got time to do relief?


Since the school term started, I had been so busy and tired that I haven't even been able to do any housework. Now the Chinese New Year is pressing in and I am also pressed for time to complete all the spring cleaning.


Not only that, I had not been able to plan out Ashlyn's learning progress. Three weeks all wasted... I really do not like it when time is wasted like that.

A day with Ashlyn

Yeah... today I spent the day with Ashlyn at home. I decided to keep her home to spend quality time with her since there isn'tmuch going on at her school.

So we started the day with breakfast with Daddy. Then we went home to start practise of her piano. I am really quite please with her ability to play those songs that require her to play with both her right and left hands simulteanously. I hope that she will continue to grow in her interest in music.

After the piano, we did a little of study. What can I say...she could learn quite fast. Then we started on the christmas cards for her teachers.


Christmas cards...thinkit should be easy right? We strted at about 11am then had tobreak at 1p.m for her to have lunch and then nap. At 5pm, we started again. By 8.45pm, we only managed to finish 80%. Will be continuing tomorrow. So she will be home with me again.


YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ashlyn's 4th Birthday (14 December 2005)

We went to the zoo with my friend and her cousin, Ivan, and niece, Andrea, both 7 years and six year sold respectively. I thought it would be difficult for Ashlyn to warm up with them but it was not true. Within an hour after the introduction, they got on quite well.

Ashlyn seems to like to play with Andrea and thank goodness, the latter also don't mnd the 4 year old tagging behind. During lunch time, when we, adults, had to buy lunch, the kids were left together and they seemed to be able to enjoy themselves, entertaining each other.

After lunch, the kids headed to the playground and really sweated it out. From the playing, Ashlyn got even mre attached to Andrea and hence they sort of became good friends, holding hands and talking to each other.

Due to the lack of time, we actually changed out iternary. We were suppose to go to Bishan Junction 8 to watch the perofrmance of Strawberry Shortcake at 1pm but we could not rush there in time. So we took our time in the zoo and decided to go to Suntec to catch the Carebears Musical at 4pm. As for the Strawberry Shortcake, we will catch it on Friday, as Ashlyn's childcare will be closed.

When we were at Suntec, I actually had no intention of joining the queue to enter the arena. Then my colleague spotted that the queue was not that long so we joined in and got the chance go take a pix with the Carebears. Ten minutes before the Carebears appear, there was a pre-show warm-up exercise, and Ashlyn, being a usual shy girl, stripped off her shyness, stood up and actually sang and danced along with the performer. She even put up her hands to try to answer the questions but of course she was not chosen. Hey, I am still happy that she joined in the fun.


After the musical, the kids went along and played with each other until it was time to go. Ashlyn sure seemed to enjoyed herself with them. The trio went off home while we stayed and waited for Kenny, his sister and accounts girls to come and join us for dinner.


It was a very tiring day but definitely a good one.

A hectic weekend

The weekend passed very quickly as it was one seriously hectic one.

On Saturday morning, we headed out to Victoria Concert hall for the SSO performance, "Babies prom", a performance for the kids. There were many many many kids... However, it was fun enough.

Then we ended up in Funan. There we bought some IT stuff for Kenny's office and then he decided to buy the EOS for me. Actually, it was not that easy. He made the effort but I really am intending of paying him back next year. So I will be working double the effort to pay for my new toy.

There was music class after getting my new toy. Afterwhich, we headed to Marina to get the items we need for Sunday's Christmas cum Ashlyn's birthday party with Kenny's friends. By the time we headed home, we are already supdur tired.


Sunday, woke up early, rushed for breakfast then the market to get the crabs for the party. Rushed home and get everything piled in the fridge, changed and then out of the house to church. After church rush back home to get the crabs then to collect the cake followed by the filling up of petrol and then to my mother-in-law's place. There we prepared whatever we needed for the night and before I can sit down and drink a cup of water, friends started to arrive.

At least, for the amount of work and time put in for the weekend, we know that Ashlyn really enjoyed herself.


Monday was rest day for me cos' today we had to celebrate her birthday in school with her friends. Then met up with my mum and we headed to Toa Payoh for Chicken Little, the movie. The movie was not as bad as what the lady had reviewed on TV.

Tomorrow, it is me and her at the zoo. No daddy, cos' he is banned from taking leave and I totally am not angry about it. I rather he go and work and make sure that those backstabbing fools do not have another chance to jab at him.

Well, my colleague is coming along with her niece and cousin(so I we do not have to run around the world in a cab, bus or MRT). So the iternary for tomorrow is (1) the zoo (2) Bishan Junction 8 to watch Strawberry Shortcake performance (3) Suntec to watch Care Bears performance (4) Wait for daddy in Suntec and shop for her present.

My birthday celebration

Kenny took the day off alright but it did ot last long.

We went to East Coast Park, breakfast at Macdonalds, Rent two bikes and cycled from one end to another end of the park. Of course, Ashlyn enjoyed herself too. Like I mentioned the day did not go tremendously well as it was suppose to. While riding the bike, Kenny received a call from his brother, asking him why he took leave since there are many things to be settled in the office. Although, he decided that it was okay for Kenny to be on leave but the latter was sulking after the call.

Knowing how some people in the company will use this opportunity to stab him on the back, I sent him back to the office. As for Ashlyn and myself, we were left off at Bugis Junction and there, we shopped for almost two hours... two very very tired gals shopping... can you imagine that?

After his work had been settled, he came to meet us and then to dinner we went. Buffet dinner at a resturant in Plaza By The Park. Price is quite ex $38++, food selection quite okay but at least got my favourite salmon sashimi. So we ate till our stomachs could not take it anymore.

Presents??? Well, I did not get my EOS... kind of disappointed. Another disappointment ... next week Kenny cannot take leave to celebrate Ashlyn's birthday. That was an order from his brother. So I will be celebrating with her alone. Thinking of bringing her to the zoo...KFC..playground...then to toysRus to let her select her own gift or bookstore whichever she wants. Cos it's her BIRTHDAY!

my personality

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Birthday coming soon....

like tomorrow! Hey...Happy brithday to myself then.

Your Birthdate: December 7

You are an island. You don't need anyone else to make you happy. And though you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you. Deep and sensitive, you tend to impress others with your insights. You also tend to be psychic - so listen to that inner voice! Your strength: Your self sufficiency Your weakness: You despise authority Your power color: Maroon Your power symbol: Hammer Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Now, as for the part of being a loner... I think that is quite true. Sometimes, I am so sick of trying to please everyone that I get super tired. I would rather prefer to hibernate at home and do the things I like rather than to be out there and being a hypocrite. Weird right?

So friends, do not get offended if you realise that I don't usually venture out of my home. It is not that I do not like your company but just that I know I will always offend someone, somehow, some way and so on and so forth. Plus, there are times whereby people around may do things that irritate me but yet I cannot speak my mind.


Anyway, I wonder what will be installed for me tomorrow. Kenny will be taking a day off (I hope he remembered that he was suppose to do that) and together with Ashlyn, we will go enjoy ourselves. I just do not know what only.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEE and ASHLYN (a week after me)!

Holiday projects

Well, I have been busy trying to bring some christmas cheer into the house. So I started by creating a small christmas tree with Ashlyn. And she sure had a lot of fun doing it.



Then I was thinking of throwing out the Hello Kitty collection that we painstakingly collected from Macdonalds...but I just could not bring myself to do so. We cannot keep it anymore as there is no more shelf space so I decided to do this...


Just yesterday, I finished two knitted ponchos, one for Ashlyn and a simlar one for her cousin. I bought a few crochetted ponchos from Bangkok and fell in love with them. As I surf the web I realised that children are also wearing ponchos to keep warm and they look very cute. So I wanted very much to get one for Ashlyn but to buy one it may cost up to $30. I chanced upon a website that gave me a very simple pattern and then I started on it.

Start of the holidays

This week is the start of the school holidays. It is also the start of my worries because there will be no income for the next six weeks.

To make matters worse, this is the period whereby we have to prepare lots of gifts. There is the anniversary gifts for each other, Ashlyn's birthday gift, her gifts to her friends for her birthday celebration, the small party that my mother-in-law mentioned yesterday, then there are also christmas gifts... So I am now thinking and thinking and still thinking but yet to come to any conclusion. The only thing I know is to make everything as simple as possible but yet fun for the little girl.


Today, i kept her home to make a small christmas tree to put in her room. She was very happy doingthe project with me. However, we have only finished the first part... there is still the need to decorate her christmas tree.

Friday, her school will be closed so that will be the day that we may venture into making christmas cookies...that can serve as gifts to friends and family. Not a bad idea too.

Geraldine, if you have read the above please don't laugh okay? Since you already know what's your christmas gift...

Then there will be other days which I will keeo Ashlyn back at home to do some christmas cards to sent out to friends and her teachers.

Hmm... look like I will be quite preoccupied for these six weeks.

Server error... network problem...

Very sluggish.. cannot get much work done

Haven't been feeloing very well since my return form Bangkok. Apparently the dust there revived my sensitive nose. Plus, the shopping really tire me out. So I had not been able to concentrate on my work at all.

I have been rather slow in completing my work and all that has been goin gthrough my head is that I need to sleep. I don't know how much sleep I will need in order for my body to recover. I hope when the year-end holiday comes, I can really take a good rest.

I have been notified that next year, I will be continuing with this group of EM3 boys. So I will be quite packed full for next year.

But so what if i have things to do next year. There is no career advancement for me at all. Wonder how long I will be able to continue in this current situation?

Returned from Bangkok already

Returned on Monday night. Sure was a tiring trip. We shopped for four days...bought quite a lot of stuff.

However, if Kenny had bought the Canon EOS for me at the ariport the day we depart... I think I would end up in all the historical places to test out the camera.

But... I still enjoyed myself. Guess I will have to wait a lot longer for the EOS. Just have to constantly dream about it.

Toady...Bangkok We Go

Today, we will be off to Bangkok. Please pray for our safety and health if you are reading. Will be back on Monday.

Hope everything will go well, unlike the HK trip!

Video Editing course ended today

Today marks the end of the three days video editing course for the primary six pupils. I only know that at least the objectives of the course had been met and I learnt that teaching older kids are really not that easy. They tend to go by their own understanding and really treats the teacher like a zoo keeper.


I can say that I quite enjoyed myself during these three days although at times I really feel like strangling some of these boys. Seeing their end products< I am satisfied that they understood the course. However, we overlooked on the video taking skills. Oh... their video clips can really send your head spinning for the rest of the day.


Next, I need to go get a book on photoshop and then learn the necessary skills for teahcing of digital art next year. I wish myseelf good luck!

PSLE Marking Days = No work

Yup... four days of PSLE marking strted yesterday. So I do not have to go to work. It also means that for these four days, I will not have any income.

These four days are good for me to get some of my video editing done. I havr put it off for years already. Years... eversince Ashlyn turned one year old. Thereafter, I was too occupied with lots of work. So I had no time to do any editing of all the videos that we had taken.

Looking back at those tapes, I am very surprised that Ashlyn did not really change much. She still have the same kind of actions when she cries, laughs, talks and so on.

I really miss those times when I did not work and stayed home to ake care of her. Those days, my temper was a lot better, Now, my temper is so bad that it scares me too.


Haven't really been very happy eversince I returned to work. And now, I am trying to get a balance of my life. I am losing control on a lot of things and like what my ex-colleague said I am a control freak plus a perfectionist. I am trying very very hard not to be. I need to relax or one day I will burst and there will be no return. Scary? Yup... I am scared myself too.


The one thing I can say now is that I am better working as an adjunct teacher but yet again I have to handle the stress of finance. Of course, with this current work I do not have to do as much as before, more relaxed and all but there is the pay cut. Hence, we have to learn to live with lesser.


So, ultimately, I still return to the Lord and ask, "How? Can I handle all these? Will You be there to reassure and help us through everyday of our lives?"

As of now, I know the answer is Yes! He had never given up pn me or my family, no matter what happened He had been there to cushion my fall. So I know that with faith and trust, all things will be well.

Terrorised by cockroaches

On Tuesday, while eating lunch, saw a smal brown object crawlin go my nice pink watch...a cockroach nymph. Scared the shit out of me. Shook it real hard and it dropped onto the floor and crawled aay calmly, leaving me shaking and fighting the urge to throw up my lunch. I did not manage to finish my lunch as I cannot put the image of that thing out of my mind.

Yesterday, went home happily and prepared the igredients needed for dinner. Was all ready to cook satay bee hoon, reach out to take the brown Vision Ware pot. Sitting on top of it, a two inch long COCKROACH! This time round I screamed at the top of my voice, ran out of the ktichen and left the food on the stove.

In the end, I went to the mini mart and bought the bait for cockroaches and another bottle of Sheltox, because the one that is at home, is sitting under the sink, not every far away from the THING!

Work is piling up

Yeah... that is what is happening now. I am in the process of setting the EM3 Maths paper for another person. Cos' she had been putting it off til the HOD of Maths is getting kind of worried. SO I am doing it now. Plus, I have to get the training guide for the video editing course out soon too.

That reminds me... I need to see if the dates for the video editing course can be changed as Ashlyn's school is closed for two days during that period. I am totally not comfortable with putting her at ... Plus, mum is working so it will be kind of unfair to ask her to stop for two days.

Anyway, on top of those I still have to finish the survery for the P5 teachers with regard to the online assignments. That...is still hibernating somewhere.

Then I have to get the Ebglish worksheets from all the levels for digitising. Ooops... that is another massive job waiting.

Those are work, let's talk about home. There is the ever delayed vaccum and streaming. It has been overdued for two weeks and I can literally feel the germs crawling around the house. YUCKS! Then there is that whole pile of clothes waiting to be handwashed. Afterwhich, there is the study room to be repacked. Thereafter, the cleaning of the thousand years old dust all over the house.






AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... when will all this be done?

说不出口

喜欢你，说不出口
喜欢你藏在心里
喜欢你就默默地在你身边
喜欢你，希望你会知道
当我却说不出口
每天如果能看到你
我就很满足
在你不开心时
我能在你身边
我也很满足
喜欢你却说不出口
喜欢你的笑
喜欢你的声音
喜欢你对我撒娇
喜欢你在地落时对我的依赖
喜欢你却说不出口
希望你能觉查到

等

等你已经是一种习惯
在电话旁，我耐心的等
在夜黑人静时，我还在等
不知不觉，我等到天也亮了
等你一天变成一个月
等了一个月缺变成一年
等你已经是一种习惯
不知道你到底在那里
我就是痴痴的等
一心想着你一定会回来
一心想要听你的声音
等你的心不会放弃
我相信一定能等到你回来的一天
应为。。。。。。
等你是一种习惯

Sick again...

Yesterday I woke up with a terrible ache in my stomach and I knew it was going to be bad. I had an attack of gastric pain again. This time it was just as bad as the last time. I laid in bed the whole day...practically slept the whole day away. I tried to wake up to eat something but everytime I take a bite I feel like vomitting. Plus, when I am up, my stomach will be in pain. So I gave up and laid in bed the whole day.

Today, to make sure that I am really rested, I took another day off. So tomorrow onwards I have to work overtime in school to earn back the time lost. Hope I don't end up tired and sick again.


Anyway, haven't been sleeping well lately. It's either I could not get to sleep and had to lay in bed turning and tossing or if I managed to drift into sleep I would wake up startled from nightmares. Till now, I cannot comprehend why this is so. If the situation persist, I think I need to go to the handsome doctor to get sleeping pills already.

Hhhaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... why like that?



Maybe.... maybe... just an excue to see the handsome doctor?

Superstar Concert

It was a suprise turnout! The concert hall was actually filled. The concert was quite entertaining but there are a few segments that are turnoffs. Especially the girls' performance... sorry to say this, but there is a very good reason why they are not even in the finalist namelist.

They came out and within the first sentence of the song there is already the pitch problem...what a letdown. However, the males did a better job. Best of all the top five male and female finalists... they are good.

I enjoyed the last segment the most where Weilian, Kelvin, did his solo. He is good at singing ballads. Really took the breathe away from all the audience.

Sad to say, Ashlyn fell asleep by the time he came out to perform. She was looking forward to watch him perform.

Better still... Weicong performed. Wonder how he got out of camp to perform?

But who cares? He was there...

What the heck!

Just find it a bit disturbing. Isn't it out of concern that one will ask about another's person's health? Better still a best friend's health?

First, best friend was admitted to hospital but was informed only after the third or forth day. Kind of angry but based on her explanation, I can understand.

Second, asked her for details about her check-up. Was suppose to read her blog for updates?

I feel a little offended... yes... if you are reading this, take note. I AM OFFENDED.

Update? Do you think that I am a fan reading up on an idol's health development through a forum? I am your friend. Someone that you trust... or should I say you have trusted.


Sorry, to say this... but why complain about me not picking up my hp when you do not even call? True, I do not answer my hp on time but I return calls if I know the caller. However, I did not have any missed calls from you.

I do not have many friends unlike you... and I know why cos' I am bloody irritating. I usually will say the wrong thing at the wrong time and offend people unknowingly.

So maybe too bad, I must have offended you that is why this is happening.

Managed to get something new on the blog

Hey...hey...

I managed to get the tag board onto the blog. People around me always think that I am very IT savvy but actually I am totally lost in the IT world. However, my current job requires me to be very involve in IT teaching and learning. So...hee hee hee...I am really only swimming my way through it.

Next year, I will be given the whole P5 level to teach digital art using Adobe Photo...now that is going to be a big big challenge.

就是你

我的心扑通的跳。
我的手心流着汗。
我的眼睛偷偷的望着你。
不知何时，
你就像白马王子的在我身旁。
我的心就在那时被你偷走。
你的笑容可以把我的疲惫融化。
你的一个眼神可以然我把悲伤忘了。
就是你！
没有别人，
就是你。。。 。。。
能把我心里的阴天变得灿烂。
就是你在我不知不觉中偷走了我的心。
就是你！

哭泣的心

天很亮，心很沉重。
雨一直不肯下，眼泪不停的流。
身边只有风在说话。
怎么听也听不到你的声音。
你在那里?
是不是以把我忘了？
风。。。 。。。
我请它把思恋带给你。
听到了吗？
我哭泣的心。

Pix with Wei Cong

Kind of vain here. Since next year I will be teaching digital art, I decided to play around with Adobe photo. So I took the picture that was taken at the studio and tried.

Actually, in the original picture there were Derek and Li Min (one of the account girls) but I cropped them out....ha ha ha

Then I also touched up the photo to eliminate all the oily skins. So ... this doesn't look very bad.


For vainity sake, I will leave this up here for a few days and then delete it. I don't want to risk any threats.

星星陪我

看着你的背影，
我的心隐隐的痛。
你的脚步声越远，
我的痛越无法沉受。
一个人站在街边，
一个人伤痛。
不知何时痛会离我远去。
走在街上，
望着星星。
他们如对我说，
痛会走，心会好！
我明了。。。 。。。 应为有星星陪着我。

Visit to the studio

The visit to the studio yesterday was not very good. The reason was because my brother-in-law caame after us (husband and myself) and when he saw me he was not very happy. Apparently he doesn't like visitation to his artistes.

PUUUUUUIIIII... but why his sister can bring the account girls there to see their favourite Derek. I only went there to see Wei Cong in real life and then also help hubby set up the printer-fax for the sound engineer. Not as if I go there and be a crazy teenage idol chasing fan.


In the end, for two hours I sat very still at the resting area, reading my book and only got up to help hubby when he asked me to. Hubby did ask me to take out my camera and take some pix.s with Wei Cong but after seeing his brother's face, I better keep quiet at one corner.

During that two hours, Wei cong had walked around and i am so bloody tempted to look at him but think better of it...i continued to read my book.

Then the account girls came along with my sister-in-law and then they were super elated cos they managed to get the photograph of Derek. Especially the youngest one, cos' she is really goo goo ga ga over Derek. I am happy for her... at least that can boost her energy.

When we eventually left the studio, we bumped into Derek who came in from the other studio. The hubby told me to go back and get take photo... ran back, then togetehr with the youngest account girl, we took a photo and then I left hastily...fearful that my brother-in-law will return.


However, Wei Cong is not the totally main reason I am at the studio... it is because i really am trying to know how they do the music recording. Don't forget that I am a multimedia freak... I love to dabble with all these. Actually before i resigned, I did ask if I could understudy the sound engineer during the school holidays and then set up a studio in school. Now...



???????????

Activities for the day

For the start, we woke up late and had to rush cos' my mum would be late for work.

Next, I am home now...getting ready to start the second part of the cleaning out of my princess' room. Then later in the afternoon, I will be popping into the studio to see Weicong an Derek whilst they do their recordings for the Superstar compliation.

Must make sure I look nice nice...like a Tai Tai or at least not like an Ah Soh.

Cleaning out

Have been doing spring cleaning of the house eversince I resigned from Punggol. I started with the study room but there is still a lot to be done. Although I managed to shift princess' toys out of there and into the living room. They are now neatly kept on the shelves and they are covered so not so bad...plus went Ikea to buy lots of storage box for her toys. So her toys are in the boxes and hence doesn't look horrible when anyone looks at it.

After a few weeks of rest, I tackled the storeroom. That is a very very very difficult task. However, I managed to do it. I am very happy over my good job... I am not thick skin here but it really is a good job. Since I managed to organised it in such a manner that I can actually go inside the storeroom and lay down...although I cannot totally straighten my body...since I am that LONG! Still it is better than before whereby I could only put a foot inside and then do my balancing act.

And after another two more weeks of rest, today I tackled my princess' wardrobe. I spent the whole morning trying to get things organised and really I had to force myself to throw out some of her old clothes and that hurts cos' it made me realise that she has really grown. However, that is not the end of her room. I have to tackle the bookshelves and study area tomorrow.

As for now... I need to go vacuum the floor and change my rabbit's and chincilla's beddings.... then rush to the childcare centre to meet princess' teacher... who does nothing but complains about her. Other teachers don't usually do that... they also say good things first, then a little complaints and then how to work together to solve the problems. However, this one is totally different. Nothing goo dseems to be coming from her mouth.

Sick

Today, I stayed home sick. Would really want to go to work but my throat infection is really bad. I can hardly swallow my saliva without crying out loud in pain. The pain is not only in my throat but also in my ears. Don't think I can teach the boys so I better stay home and rest.


Look like after today and when the September holiday is over, I have to clock in more hours in school to earn back all the money. Reason...we will be going to Bangkok in October...then all my earnings will disappear.

But still it is okay because I am enjoying my work. Never once I tell myself I don feel like going to school. So that is a good sign.

Bad Day?

Yesterday was not the best day on my life, not counting the day that my dad passed away. Made the decision to go to the zoo but the morning was gloomy...or the whole day was gloomy. However, since we need to go renew out membership we had to go.

After breakfast at the coffeeshop, hopped into the car and off we went. Halfway through SLE, I suddenly rememebered my daughter's water bottle. Realising that no one had it, we shook our head and just drove on... what else can we do? It was left in the coffeeshop.

At the zoo, we fought with the weather or should I say the sun and the gloomy clouds had some battle. It drizzled then the sun shone then it drizzled and the sun shone again and so on. Then the princess decided that she was tired and hungry. Ended our trip at the zoo for lunch.

Since the princess was tired, we headed home for the afternoon nap. Upon reaching the junction before our flat, we saw the aftermath of an accident. A car with a taxi or vice versa... the passenger of the taxi was pinned in the taxi and the paramedics were trying hard to get the victim out. The driver of the red car sat on the pavement ... dazed.

The rest of the afternoon was still alright. We napped and then went to music class with princess and was invited to pizza dinner with my mother and elder brother. Till then the day was still relatively good so we thought it is getting better.

On the way home from Pasir Ris while entering TPE, saw the aftermath of another accident. A car and a motorcycle. The motorcycle in pinned under the front bumper of the car, a groupd of motorists hurdling on the side pavement and a girl crying... where is the driver and the motorist? According to my mum, the motorist was not terribly injured but sitting at the pavement with his jeans rolled up with a few scratches.

So we confirmed that it was a terrible day and I uttered silent prayers for all victims of the accidents. Went home...wanted to rest ... but got fed up of the grown man in the room playing game as he seemed to have played for the whole week. Got into a squabble with him, along with a cat and dog fight and then ended with us laughing at the pain that we caused each other. It was not a bad kind of quarrel...its a 'I am bored so u are in trouble' kind of squabble.


Today is not as good... I nearly got into an accident and am still very puzzled why the other car knowing that I am changing lane did not slow down but came right up to my backside and honked me into a nervous wreck. He is a young 'chongster'! I almost showed him my tallest finger but thought better of it.


Let's pray that tomorrow is better. Btw, we found the water bottle...the cleaners at the coffeeshop put it aside.

3 weeks into the job

It has been three weeks since I started my adjunct teaching stint. I am glad that I have this job and able to be around people that I have known. It is very comforting to be back at home base rather than out in the open with everyone vying to get to the top of the ladder.

I do not deny that before I quit teaching, I did want to climb up to the middle management position so was really trying very hard but minus the stepping on others. I cannot do that and do not know how to do that. Instead when others are in trouble, I put in my time to help but all these was not appreciated. Now I gave up the job and my career but at least I have a peace of mind. I can only try to give my best in my current job.

Now I am doing the online assignment thingy and it can get on my nerves since some teachers are totally not cooperative. They refused to put in the effort to push the pupils to complete the assignments so I have go do all the dirty work.

Next, I am teaching the P5 EM3 Maths class. Kind of cute... those boys! I only have 4 of them in my class and they are delightful, unlike those in my previous school. To my surprise, I enjoy teaching them and really hope that I am able to push them forward and build up their confidence in themselves.

Now I am taking a rest since Monday I do not need to go to work, I can have the long weekend to rest and relax.

Got the job

Yesterday, I was saying that there is a possiblity that I may not have the adjunct teacher job...luckily I've gotten it. So I strted work yesterday and everything seems to be going quite alright.

Now, I have to quickly make a decision. The maths HOD has asked me whether Iwould like to take up the P5 EM3 class. There are nine pupils in there and each of them can be quite difficult to handle in terms of behaviour. Now I am at a lost and really wonder whether I am able to do it.

I need a sign from above and Ineed one that is loud and clear since I am always so deaf. Sometimes, He does speak tome butI am not able to hear. So I hope this time, I cna hear Him and what He plans for me to do.

I am starting my new job!

Yippeeeee... yesterday checked my status of appointment as relief teacher and it was approved. So, today I am starting work already!

First thing I need to do when at work is to get all the adminstrative things done with the clerk. Then I've got to meet the P5 teachers to discuss about the things that I am suppose to do for them. After that I've got to find the P3 leave reps to get all the worksheets to sort out.

I wonder how would I feel returning to my old workplace and see my old colleagues. I am a bit scared but definitely happier than in Punggol.

The strange thing is that the pebble that we were suppose to do and then mounted up on the wall of the reception area is still there after so many years. At least for 5 years ... I am very very surprised and thought ...maybe... I am suppose to return to this school after all.

I promise myself that this time I will try my best and put my best foot forward. Forget about the people and stress I had in Punggol.


Yipppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... work.... or NOT!!!

Just got a call from the school and was told that the HQ did not approve of me being adjunct teacher yet. So I have to sit here and wait till 12 p.m. for her to get a hold of HQ and settle the problem. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

What happened for the rest of the HK trip?

Nothing worth writing about cos' there was a big quarrel and more shopping. So I wish to put that behind and move on.

Came back home on Monday night and was quite surprise at the state of my house. It ws very bright, clean and neat. Then we realised that Kenny's cousin actually tidied up the house for us when she came over to feed the two little lovable pets.


Then I started to feel a little bit guilty cos' I am definitely not able to keep my house clean and tidy and require the help of someone else. I am very embarrassed and is now seriously looking into how to improve my situation.


There are a few things which I need to change. People will usually wait till the next new year then make the new year resolution but I decided I cannot wait so long. Anyway, with my old job out of the way and me having to start as adjunct teacher back in ACS, I consider it a new start and hence I must make the changes NOW!

The changes:
1. Need to take charge of the house and make sure that everything is as neat and as tidy as possible.
2. Make a timetable to assist me in tidying the house.
3. Curb my expenditure by monitoring how much I spent everyday.
4. Take over the financial management of the house and really be the boss of the house.
5. Spend time with my princess playing and not just studying and teaching. (A lot can be learnt thru' play)
6. Make time for exercising...morning jogs around the estate ... if cannot at least a brisk walk.
7. More couple time with Kenny... we need to establish better communication.
8. Lastly... but the most important... my quiet time with GOD.


That's a lot of changes but I am determine to accomplish them.

Fourth Day in Hong Kong

Was suppose to leave the house by 7 a.m. but we dragged till 8 a.m. Not all of us managaed to wake up on time. Then we set off for Shen Zhen.

Took the MTR and went to Shen Zhen. Then rushed to the custom and then the usual custom checks.

After that went to the building just beside the custom. Ate breakfast, which was very sumptuous. Then we went shopping...start searching for the branded bags. Wow! The people there were very aggressive. They will hussle you all the way till you relent and buy from them but we have refused strongly. The best part is the bargaining. For example, they quote the price of HK$300 and you are not happy with it you bargain. So let say, I want to only pay HK$100, so I quote them my price. If they cannot agree, we go away...they can come chasing you shouting,"$250...come on lah...very cheap already." You continue to walk away. "Come lah, pretty lady...$200 ...can?" Walk further away, ignoring the price. "$150... last price!" Continue to walk away. "Okay okay lah...$100." Turn back and then go buy it!


However, the irritating part is that we have to wait for those people to go to the warehouse to get the goods and you can wait up to half and hour. Sometimes after waiting for half an hour it could be a disappointing wait.

After a few shops, we managed to find a shop assistant who was willing to bring us to the warehouse to choose. So we went but there isn't many and if we want, we still have to wait for the runners to go get the goods but at least the quality of the goods are not that bad.

By the time we return home, it was already almost twelve midnight.

Third Day In Hong Kong

Change of plans, did not go to Shen Zhen today because mother-in-law's maid required a visa. So the whole gang have to go down to Tsim Sha Shui to get it done.

Took the MTR to the destination, waited patiently while they went to get the vis a done. Then tried to find a place to eat breakfast or brunch. While waiting for the resturant to be ready, Kenny, princess and myself went to have a look around. Pop into a shop and bought 4 pieces of clothes at less then S$90. A good buy and the ladies were nice.

When we returned to meet up with them...sad to say it was not very happy. Got told off by Kenny's sister that we should keep to the time and if we wanted to shop should do it later. She was not happy waiting for us. (I am upset...definitely. Cos' most of the time when there is a need to go out together Kenny, Princess and myself have to wait for them. Sometimes, we have to do that waiting game for up to half an hour or an hour... and did I complain? NO!)


After that unhappy brunch, we went shopping again. Of course, since I was told of already, I quietly followed them. As usual the three of us waited while they shopped...I complained? NO! At the second street, think they wanted to shake us off so told us to go our own way so that we did.


We went to Mongkok, where the Ladies Street is. Quite alright there, except that there are many many many people. Got a few more items and then realised that we ran out of cash. Caught a policewoman and asked her directions to the nearest Citibank. We decided to withdraw money. Then we went for desserts. Cool... I love the Zi Mah Hu. Unlike those in Singapore, it is nice and smooth.


After the recharge, we went back to Ladies Street and do more shopping. Came home with many many bags and this time they are MINE!!!

Second Day in Hong Kong

Woke up like 6 in the morning because it was kind of difficult to sleep in the tight space. Plus, the sky was already very bright outside so mistook it to be 7 or 8 a.m.

Once the moring stuff had been done and breakfast, we sat around and wasted time as the shops don't open early in HK. Plus, today we are going separate ways from Kenny's mother and sister. They are going to Macau to the new casino while we will go to Stanley Market to buy clothes for the princess.

Last year we went to Stanley Market at the end of our trip, we did not have much cash left to buy stuff for the princess. So this year, we decided that we will go there first. So at the end of the afternoon, we really did buy a lot of clothes for the princess... as many as 10 sets ( I think... there will about four to five bags of her clothes!)

Then we took the mini bus back to Causeway Bay. Back there, ww shopped even more. Actually, we were tired but because I wanted to take photos of the busy streets in the day and in the night, we had to continue shopping. Thought I would be the one spending the most money this time? Nope! Kenny did... he bought 4 Polo T-shirts anf 4 collar shirts...all at U2 and the collar shirts were cheap. Each costs HK$59 which is around S$15.

End of the day... I was the loser of all the shopping. Of all the bags, there were only three of my items! :(


Tomorrow... Shen Zhen in China. But our legs are breaking into pieces.

First Day In Hong Kong

Today, we set off for HK. Woke up at 7 a.m. to get ready and then went to the airport to check in and to eat breakfast. Everything seemed okay... except that if all will just cooperate instead of just being a selfish brat.


Anyway, it was kind of terrible on flight. That was because we accounted about an hour of turbulance so flight was very bumpy and hence developed a rather nasty migraine. Did not manage to eat lunch too. First, I had to make sure that my little princess ate, so I fed her. Second, that air sickness was not very helpful to my digestive system.

Finally made it to HK and then my brother-in-law's house. All things were alright. Settled down and then went out again to eat dinner. Then come the next wave of stress... people! Wow...talk about the crowd in Singapore. The crowd here is about double that in Singapore.


After dinner, shopped and managed to buy two pieces of clothes. Then we shopped for groceries for breakfast for tomorrow.


As for the plan for tomorrow... who knows? I know that I want to go down to the streets at night again and practice my photograhy skills. How I wish I have my Cannon 300D (in my dreams!)